Hip Hop Forum

This Is A Track That I'm Working On, I Wanna See What Y'all Think So Far.
It's A Slower Piece, But Word..

Lyrics:
Sometimes It's Hard To See, With All The Things,
Apart Of Me,
None Of Witch I Wish Was Growin Fond Of Me//
An Honestly, I Can't Find It In My Heart To Be,
The Person,
That Everyone Has Begun Expectin John To Be//
Im Pondering, On If I Should Just Pawn The Ring,
When Partcially,
Parts Of Me Wanna Do Away With All The Arguing//
It's Hard To Think, When I'm In All This Greif,
Pardon Me,
But It's Hard To See If She Really Want Any Part Of Me//
An Unfortunately I Love Her With Every Portion Of Me,
I Absorb What I See,
An The Look On Her Face Was Just Short Of A Pleased//
When I Told Her I Loved Her Wich According To Me,
It Seemed,
Like She Was Just Telling Me What I Wanna Believe//
When She Told Me That She Loved Me Back,

word i peeped this earlier when u showed me..i like it so far sept 4 the part thats mumbled but u already noooooo bout that soo when its dun post da finish version but 4 now its a gud start i think

No Doubt Man, I Re-Recorded It Though Since Then An Wrote A Few More Lines. But Word Man

delivery needs alotta work, you need more emotion so you have more of a presence on the mic, your flow got a bit better you don't fall offbeat as much as in the other piece you posted on here

it was straight likekillah said u flowed on beat alot better ur gettin better with this audio but one thing i think u should work on is breathing...u take in deep breaths after each bar....and it really isnt good..especially on thatt beat

I Agree, That's Why I Want Feed Back So I Know What I Need To Work On. Thanks Folks.

yeah man you just need to work on ya emotion and flow ... other than that the lyrics are coo man

Thanks Man