new here appreciate feedback

[BIC]

[when im bored i like to write so thanks for reading and any feedback]


ponder and learn from the now if u can / but since u livin its a skill i would value at ten / on the richter as the clock hand continues to move / you stop to think just like you normally do /

watch the mind eye like a tv set / thinkin it threw / how many times, how many edits on the past you view / well definitely learn from that / no matter what you do /

and the future aint anything to worry about / ignore the wild rat race as they scurry about / who is to be one of them just lost in the maze / this is just some thoughts on the page / my therapy for the age / industrial to today's / fooled around attached nouns and verbs / in the alphabet gym / doing reps with words / not a translator a / innovator of ideas so absurd / i know its heard / a great idea always touched a nerve / my ideas from intuition like my guts the word / and if you hate know hating guts / it kinda cuts my flow / i dont know / i gotta go / time to say goodbye to status quo

[Gravvity]

i can definitely tell your still in a what i call "poet stage" that's how i started too.. try writing to music get sum instrumentals and feel the beat.. with practice it will come naturally without even having a beat and you will be able to have a good flow... remember its a lot more than just end words that rhyme each bar has to flow and don't be scared to use "multies" you can rhyme multiple times throughout a bar and/or into a new bar it doesn't matter as long as it flows.. this isn't a science its an art have fun with it

but most of all never try and be like any other rapper!!! this is SELF expression!!! SELF!!!!! look into underground hiphop thats where its at.. if you like lil wayne just give up now lol.... any way point is you have to find yourself and when you do it will show..

PEACE-> ~GravVity~

[BIC]

much appreciated thanks for the time and tips. i know what your saying about the beat, then im thinking what if whoever is reading has a different beat in their head haha jk, if you flow you flow the beat wont matter. you pegged it right im new to writing its just for fun and like free therapy sometimes, lots for me to learn. lol wayne who? just no well back to the grind thanks again.

[Gravvity]

yo to any real hiphop head this IS THERAPY ! and your right dont doubt yourself whatever you write is from your head so usually only you can read it exactly how its suppose to be.. "my lyrics take care of me, they therapy, get shit off my chest" -Dilated Peoples (worst comes to worst) <-check it out if you dont already know it

-- Thu May 03, 2012 2:56 pm --

you know what the difference between mainstream and underground is?? its like sports... In college and earlier you play for the love of the game as soon as you go pro its all about the money!! UNDERGROUND-from the heart / MAINSTREAM-from the checkbook

[Sini]

I feel it I feel it.. I think that you should find a beat to spit your bars to. It'll help ease out your flow. Even though it might not be that noticeable, rapping without a beat does go somewhat off-tempo and having a rhythm in the background can be a major help. Try to stay consistent and link your bars without jumping too far into a different scene and losing your audience. There's a lot of good shit in here. Just keep working on it man you got potential, would like to see some drops in the future with maybe more depth?.. Painting more of a picture will help readers get closer to what you're sayin and make it more personal. You got it tho. You got good concepts man expand on that shit peac

[Synapse]

Gravvity, I think one of Macklemore's favorite artists is Lil Wayne, and no matter how much I hate weezy if you told Macklemore to give up when he was first starting 'cause he liked Wayne I'd smack you in da face. xD


That aside, I like this and agree with Gravvity on the "poet stage" thing, but I would call it more of a "self-discovery". Eventually you'll become more comfortable with writing and be able to work on flow and multis and whatnot, just keep writing and beats definitely help to right to, if you want to get your flow in check. But good beginnings man, keep it up.