Dead mans gun

Release your best recorded material and let the world hear your talent. It doesn't matter what level you are on - you will get constructive feedback to increase your skills.

Moderator: Loon E Lou

Forum rules
Embed your soundclick video players with [soundclick]Song Id[/soundclick]. You can also just put [soundclick]Embed Code[/soundclick].

Please go back and fix as many of your old songs as you want.
Post Reply
User avatar
Enders
Lyrically Inclined
Offline
Posts: 130
Joined: Sat Apr 23, 2011 3:45 pm
Wins: 10
Losses: 4
No Shows: 1

Dead mans gun

Post by Enders »

UM, my verse isnt perfect yet, and it wont be till i finish PCSing, but the whole concept is there. If anyone likes it and wants to jump on vs 2. If not, oh well.
A Dead Mans Gun.mp3
(5.33 MiB) Downloaded 517 times
Pest wrote:[center]"Enders is an enigma wrapped inside of a paradox in the middle of a riddle"[/center]
User avatar
cyanidesyn
Lyrically Inclined
Offline
Posts: 124
Joined: Sun Feb 26, 2012 3:05 am
Wins: 1
Losses: 1

Re: Dead mans gun

Post by cyanidesyn »

this track has a wiz khalifa feel 2 it but tha concept is far from wiz all in all nice drop i do pose this question 4 u y dnt u jus get into r&b or pop cuz ur singin isnt bad at all it had more of a pop soft rock feel then hip hop but wit new school hip hop its gettin harder 2 determine wats wat anymore
User avatar
Enders
Lyrically Inclined
Offline
Posts: 130
Joined: Sat Apr 23, 2011 3:45 pm
Wins: 10
Losses: 4
No Shows: 1

Re: Dead mans gun

Post by Enders »

Cuz I can rap, but being one dimensional is gay. And I don't listen to rap, which I why I prolly spud like something else and why I can't say who wiz is. Thanks for the feed though, I appreciate it.

[ Post made via iPhone ] Image
Pest wrote:[center]"Enders is an enigma wrapped inside of a paradox in the middle of a riddle"[/center]
User avatar
cyanidesyn
Lyrically Inclined
Offline
Posts: 124
Joined: Sun Feb 26, 2012 3:05 am
Wins: 1
Losses: 1

Re: Dead mans gun

Post by cyanidesyn »

i dnt jus listen 2 rap i listen 2 all music n i feel u about bein 1 dimensional but i cnt sing but i do ghost write 4 more then 1 genre i jus need 2 find a band thats willin 2 use my lyrics
User avatar
Cyan
Dedicated Emcee
Offline
Posts: 98
Joined: Fri Oct 14, 2011 6:53 pm

Re: Dead mans gun

Post by Cyan »

Enders ... alright man ... there's some potential here for sure ... the mix is OK. From like :44 - :56 you hit a really nice groove. You strike me as one of those guys that has some soul and wants to stretch out ... try new things ... but is being boxed in by the lyrics you've already set out for yourself ... What I mean by that is there are moments where you rush and then slow down ... things become inaudible and awkward and I think it's because your trying to make your flow fit your words instead of the other way around ... but there are moments where everything falls into place ... I think you've got a lot of promise man ... keep sticking with it ... be your harshest critic.

I enjoyed this!
Loon E Lou
Fuck You, Pay Me
Offline
Posts: 1024
Joined: Thu Jan 14, 2010 5:46 am
Wins: 11
Losses: 6
Location: 831, California

Re: Dead mans gun

Post by Loon E Lou »

I said,

I guess alvin kicked me off this track.

Darn.

[ Post made via Mobile Device ] Image
User avatar
Phasewon
Rhyme Master
Offline
Posts: 213
Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2009 2:06 pm
Wins: 0
Losses: 0
Location: Seattle, WA
Contact:

Re: Dead mans gun

Post by Phasewon »

The flow was on point, mixing needs to be sharpened up, but the vibe, flow and lyrics fit the beat well, I see potential here, keep sharpening the skills.
Post Reply

Return to “The Booth”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 5 guests