Hip Hop Forum

Throughout my porous experience, I have tried to adorn holes
A guy that happens to be sublime with a torn soul, born slow
Blind with a mind like a longbow, sharp in the sky like a thorn thrown
Piercing any guy in my war zone, who pries in my mind's stronghold
Mind your own, I'll die trying to hold you back, in fact, life's culdesac
Already done it, my insides are everywhere, it's my confetti stomach
I'm on a deadly summit, where unready sunset, is evident with one breath
And that is pretty algid, I'm out here, wishing that I lived with kid allowance
Because a kid is how I'm acting now, I'm getting doubted, tripled prowess
I am in dire need of it, surrounded by these puppets, who just need loving
They bluffing what a shame, what a game to be apart of, in the parts of
With a parka's length of dark blood dripping from it, and this assumption
That a person living isn't something's pretty pungent, plenty dumbness
In the world, but while I'm out here struggling, with this one shift in a twirl
You'll be the one sick with a girl, and I'll make some difference emerge...
http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/a-lit ... ml#p190129
http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/sugar ... ml#p190131

Well, i almost dont understand why this is in the poets area, but I'm no pro, so what do I know. Some of the IMagery was cool, like the thorn soaring through the sky, but i dont see how thats very impactful <- not even sure if thats a real word. Oh well, it was decent man, keep dropping...

-- Wed Feb 22, 2012 12:50 pm --

[right]Also fixed your signature... hope you dont mind[/right]

Okay Gerard Williams. Don't assume we're all stupid. GTFO.

[ Post made via Android ]

TF was that about? Anyways thanks for the feed.

i thought this was Nice...

the vocab is strong and scheme was really solid for poetry.it actually was the highlight of this piece imo..

wow bruh..all in all a real good read playuh..

Thank you, I appreciate it bruh.