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Must Be Out My Mind

Posted: Sat Dec 16, 2006 3:24 pm
by critan
Man I remember these nights.....Life changing events.........eyes closed...

Who am I?

the rebirth? Eyes focused na nigga ima re surface-
re amerge from the winter while my shadows still lurkin-
been berthed the keys embezelded with spikes, fingers hurtin-
flirtin with the game, covered notions of black curtains-
never fuck the game more intrigued with touching the clit-
I assume that Ill by recieved by the 25th-
no adjacency, hands on their own like slit wrist-
then take a cab ride, dont get on my hit list-
ready to bleed i proceed with enemy deeds-
your lines high definition Im in 1080 p-
bruises from chains Ive been wearin aint no bitch in me-
got pitbulls up in the yard that all kill for free-
imagine me.......to be continued




[align=center]http://illestlyrics.com/board/no-topic- ... t2483.html[/align]

Posted: Sat Dec 16, 2006 7:10 pm
by Subsist
First of all welcome to the site,
second , on every submitted written you need to post a link to a post in which you have given feedback on , this is called a vote link.

anyways , i liked this , though it was short , and i kinda felt it was turning more 50 cent towards the end. lookin to read the rest of it.

Posted: Sat Dec 16, 2006 10:32 pm
by critan
my bad, good look though

Posted: Sat Dec 16, 2006 10:36 pm
by complexity
The topic was a little fucked up. Which is cool.

The rhyme scheme in the beginning was cool. Though I suggest a more solid scheme through the entire piece.

Pretty nice vocabulary as well.

First two bars were my favorite.

It was kinda short so not to much to say about it. Ill read the second part though when you drop it.

Posted: Sun Dec 17, 2006 12:13 am
by Invincible
It was real good in the begining.

Posted: Sat Dec 23, 2006 3:28 am
by critan
thanx for the feed- dont see the 50 cent connection at all-if your talkina about me sayin got pits thatll kill for free, well i do have pits three to be exact