Hip Hop Forum

this was deep dude... liked that amy winehouse word play... it was sick man... and i don't really read writtens but i liked this... good shit Haz.. keep droppin

This was so suppose ta get better.. Never
Whenever I think its gone ta shit..
It just Keeps dropping no matter how gone I git

^^^ nice


my High is breached since you want to argue till my defeat
In ya eyes it speaks..you switch up when i'm Inside n beat
Like i'm that guy ta keep..I should just Try ta creep


^^^^ loved this part, its great

Better yet scare you away.. since you've scared me to stay
Acting like this is so special and we'll be married today

^^^ cracked me up

Ya fairy tales are eve'd out..N i'll bounce but since I'm
like a Rock wall you show Me doubt..But don't Doubt whats Real
Realities a pain you Must feel..we already broke our trust deal

^^^wow really awesome

So the dollars the only thing I got faith in..
and we could both lose this cause in the end fate wins
I question my Placement and Re access what my Place Meant
I try to Make Sense Like where my brakes went? Straight tense

^^^ very deep, just when i think it cant get better, it does lol


Stand Up Guy..Rather not go to heaven yet i'm Tryna Land The Sky
you want to Raise the Hell..Bugging Like you're on Raw..
I Don't Take It Well..The shitter's where our sacred's fell..
Being with you is like being in prison and I hate the cell

^^^ loved this, specially “being with u is like being in prison and i hate the cell lolol

Like I Love a beeper..Love Is deeper then arguing just to Fuss
who's Cheaper..Who's Fucking who over..Who's fucking someone else..
and I don't give a FUCK for either..I'm Up for Neither
Simple Minded broad.. What up i'm Deeper..

^^^ whoa blew my mind!!!

i'll Brush clown face paint on This China Doll..
So my Mind could Stall And I don't house the thought's she'll wine ta yall
Don't AIM-ME, text me..Not One Call ta Me..Especially..
Don't Hit my Facebook Like "why do you Neglect me ??"

^^^ very intense ending


great piece i enjoyed it a lot, im glad im not that girl u r referring to, very creative and brilliant writing this is truly art!!!

ok now i have to go and write this is great ur choice of words, the way u express urself its just inspiring to others specially to beginners like me!

dude i liked this piece

i like your inner rhymes and flow.. i like the desperate lover tip and the i can't escape you direction you were going..

a good narrative to relationships, dysfunction al be it, but a good strong suited rap too


your styles very east coast by the way.. very biggie writing stylie


good shit bro

favorite barres
I question my Placement and Re access what my Place Meant
I try to Make Sense Like where my brakes went? Straight tens

i just like the way that rung man

keep rhyming

Yeah this was on point..ya scheme switches up a lot but is still
really smooth brow..I like the vocabulary...


you want to Raise the Hell..Bugging Like you're on Raw.. I Don't Take It Well..The shitter's where our sacred's fell.. Being with you is like being in prison and I hate the cell
^^
I thought this played out dope ...props

This was pretty deep my dude, you been putting some work in
keeping your pieces moving along pretty nicely
showing some emotion and showing some skill
the usage of your multi's is picking up nicely
and the way your weaving your words together is consistent
keep working my dude

See this is completely opposite lol u got mad skill i like the rhymes and the flow. The only thing i would say is u jumped around a little bit but not too much so where the reader loses the point. Good shit man 10/10 lol

This was so suppose ta get better.. Never
^Didnt really like this as the opening line, rather felt unmotivated to continue reading from this point to be honest. The "so" infront of "suppose", just didnt roll naturally for me.

I am a fan of the crossover rhyme though, that felt natural, as opposed to this next part which did not:
It just Keeps dropping no matter how gone I git
my High is breached since you want to argue till my defeat

Better yet scare you away.. since you've scared me to stay
Acting like this is so special and we'll be married today
Ya fairy tales are eve'd out..N i'll bounce but since I'm
like a Rock wall you show Me doubt..But don't Doubt whats Real
Realities a pain you Must feel..we already broke our trust deal
^This all felt very basic, I like what you are implying, but i wish you would have chosen better words to get it across, maybe a better rhyme scheme to compliment the simplicity of the words might have helped.

I question my Placement and Re access what my Place Meant
^Man, i really really like that line.


I got kinda lost at the end, kinda jumpy, more agressive. Not a bad piece man, lotta emotion to someone or something youve masked as someone. Keep dropping man, dont mean to be negative, but you take nothing from me just sayin... well, the condesending things people say.

this was RAW!!!!....I think all of us can relate to the feelings put into this...dealin with trifle'in bitches...your structure was straight...wordplay was fresh...I hella dig this...