Hip Hop Forum

keyed up on the shoutbox!


my ears are ringing, in a silent room,
no one else can hear it, these violent booms
my mind is zoomed, in a timeless tomb,
a production of destruction ripping from inside its womb..
where in which you left is now its birth place,
people laught at the mistakes that i first made
but not from losing you but from having you in the first place...
and it hurts in the worst ways,
"we know that girl's fake" they said with this,
cuz now you feel the emptiness of where that whore's been,
her hollow heart never wanted love to just be poured in,
she wanted status and to be where the cash is..in mass proportions
of course you will be thrown off course then..
but lets cut to the chase, run with scissors,
i knew you heard about me, caught word about me from my sister,
now you feel absurd to doubt me, now in a world without me,
i say hope you see sure, but deep inside i really hope you have a seizure..
and you can give me back all my t-shirts,
haha i kept you warm in times when you were cold see,
and when i was down you couldnt hold me?
damn thats why you spending christmas lonely,
and yet i still would never harm ya,
everyone left you when you left me cuz i left it all to karma..
and fuck ya drama, my love you couldnt understand it,
so you stayed candid, did your damage took advantage
and you planned it, and even when i rammed it,
had your ass out and made you pass out like a pamphlet..
you took my heart and my money you fuckin bandit..
that ship has set sail and that plane has landed..
but guess whos fuckin stranded?
that relation'ship' i fuckin manned it..
its now abandoned.. damn it i really did try,
im happy that i did fly, right before it did die,
cuz even when i couldn't get enough of when you did smile,
i know now that you're fuckin ugly on the inside

Dope!

-- Wed Dec 28, 2011 1:51 pm --

Lol nah it was cool man i was just playing with you.

multis were fire content was chilling and very compelling.,.


loved it

keep rhyming

yeah bruh this was nice..went str8 to the cardiovascular with this one..i enjoyed alot of the vocabulary..
concept is coo but the imagery in some of the lines was pretty vivid..good to see ya still doin ya thing...1

multies were nice good structure

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/off-t ... 09-15.html

This was nice, liked the multies, liked the whole idea and how you presented it and a dope closer, it was like a summary of the drop, it was really smart. Overall I liked it, a nice drop indeed ... keep at it man

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

great job.
the multis were on point the entire time

people laught at the mistakes that i first made
but not from losing you but from having you in the first place...
^^dope

i also liked what you did with the last two lines

keep up the good work

Like everyone else said, your rhymes were on point, and all of your lyrics flowed from one to the next extremely well. In other words you stayed on topic. All in all, you took a common topic to the next level so good job.

i only liked the beginning.

i really liked it u had some very strong and emotional lines, got ur message across great, nice multis, vocab and flow u make it look so easy really liked ur style!

people laught at the mistakes that i first made
but not from losing you but from having you in the first place...

Word, way to say it.

and you can give me back all my t-shirts,
haha i kept you warm in times when you were cold see,
and when i was down you couldnt hold me?
damn thats why you spending christmas lonely,
and yet i still would never harm ya,
everyone left you when you left me cuz i left it all to karma..

went in dude.

its now abandoned.. damn it i really did try,
im happy that i did fly, right before it did die,
cuz even when i couldn't get enough of when you did smile,
i know now that you're fuckin ugly on the inside

I Like the closer, almost seems like a poetic fuck you with the last line..

I Liked this piece man, you went in. Keep it up ...

by the way return to feed if possible "Ambition"

this was a slick piece my dude you brought a whole different vibe with this
then again I don't think I've read any of your writtens for awhile, but you always got something good regardless
I can imagine you spitting this on a crazy ass beat, just to remind people what rhyming is all about, some sick shit though

haha i kept you warm in times when you were cold see,
and when i was down you couldnt hold me?
damn thats why you spending christmas lonely,
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ that resonates with me...

keep writing my dude!

Ill, Multies was off the hook!
I dug the substance,


"and yet i still would never harm ya,
everyone left you when you left me cuz i left it all to karma..
and fuck ya drama, my love you couldnt understand it,
so you stayed candid, did your damage took advantage
and you planned it, and even when i rammed it,
had your ass out and made you pass out like a pamphlet..
you took my heart and my money you fuckin bandit..
that ship has set sail and that plane has landed..
but guess whos fuckin stranded?
that relation'ship' i fuckin manned it.. "

Fav part. Well done.