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walk-in closet
Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 8:47 am
by vanity
I got loads of cars and money, my wardrobe is all Armani
houses in all countries, on the table a bottle of Chardonnay,
pardon me if i sound cold heartedly, honestly i got all my needs
i’m not shallow see i’m no hollow tree, follow me allow your eyes to see
the part of me thats sweet as honey, all about peace and harmony
it just dawned on me, apart from me, all stars want to be is seen on tv
looking charmingly, covering their cardboard skin, thin n power hungry
thats not what i wanna be, they live life miserably just ask em/eminem plz
i live drama free no paparazzis following me, none of my pics on TMZ
Gods gift to me, i roll in dough that i make on my own, profits all for me
i’m no prophet see its like a prophecy, i’m a better prospect than any celebrity,
that you’ll ever see on MTV, my qualities are God sent maybe its meant to be
or just destiny, im just blessed in this as hard as it all is, life just favors me
dont try to block me even if i sound a lil cocky, apparently im just too damn lucky
p.s i'm Wonder Woman
Re: walk-in closet
Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 8:56 am
by Defiance
lol
don't really like the "I'm famous" type pieces.. but besides that there was some solid multis and rhymes in there some thrown here and there haphazardly, while some rung like a bell.. overall i enjoyed the read.. like the ps part too
keep rhyming WUN^
Re: walk-in closet
Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 9:10 am
by 88SkyLink
good structure, I liked how you set it up. I did seem kinda short, but all in all good shit. You kept it to your topic, nice multis, the flow was good aswell.
Re: walk-in closet
Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 9:15 am
by vanity
thanks for ur feed guys
-- Tue Dec 27, 2011 6:16 pm --
well it was actually bout how i do not want to be famous lol
Re: walk-in closet
Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 2:25 pm
by AntiMaTTer
vanity wrote:
I got loads of cars and money, my wardrobe is all Armani
houses in all countries, on the table a bottle of Chardonnay,
pardon me if i sound cold heartedly, honestly i got all my needs
i’m not shallow see i’m no hollow tree, follow me allow your eyes to see
the part of me thats sweet as honey, all about peace and harmony
you gota a hell of a flow for a chick i think. this shit went together pretty nicely, the armani/chardonnay line was eh forced the those some more difficult words to rhyme, it could work on audio though
it just dawned on me, apart from me, all stars want to be is seen on tv
looking charmingly, covering their cardboard skin, thin n power hungry
thats not what i wanna be, they live life miserably just ask em/eminem plz
i live drama free no paparazzis following me, none of my pics on TMZ
Gods gift to me, i roll in dough that i make on my own, profits all for me
i’m no prophet see its like a prophecy, i’m a better prospect than any celebrity,
that you’ll ever see on MTV, my qualities are God sent maybe its meant to be
or just destiny, im just blessed in this as hard as it all is, life just favors me
dont try to block me even if i sound a lil cocky, apparently im just too damn lucky
the rest was str8 the flow remain pretty consistent and you brought it back to how you make and do your own thing,work for ya money, which i like working woman. anyway shits str8 you can definitely progress if you continue writing.
p.s i'm Wonder Woman
Re: walk-in closet
Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 2:31 pm
by vanity
thanks a lot i'll keep it in mind
n try harder!
Re: walk-in closet
Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2012 2:31 pm
by Lawgix
yeah this was a good read... i think if u were to put this on audio and spat it fast it would sound pretty dope... but yeah it was a good read... good shit vanity keep droppin
Re: walk-in closet
Posted: Fri Jan 06, 2012 4:12 pm
by Trizz
niice i liked it. at a few places i think you could have used internals to make it stronger.
this should've gone with a hott beat.
and i loved the
p.s i'm Wonder Woman
in the end xD
Re: walk-in closet
Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2012 8:21 am
by QwarterZ
I can see some growth in the way you write..I approve
the idea you brought here is pretty good, maybe if you broke it down more
and etched a little more detail into the ideas of stardom
and then kept it going like that and in the last verse made the statement that thats not what you want you might have something sick
very nice work...keep writing..your elevating quickly