Hip Hop Forum

i liked this one too..you started out with a poetic type flo and kicked it up a notch with some double rhymes halfway through..not bad


own this, I’m stronger than stone is
show me a rock, and I’ll turn it into a brass token
I’m smokin hot not pot,
cant stop me from taking my spot to the top
this is my path chosen
^^^
this part was thoughtful..imo..

ended it with nice emotion too..this was coo ma..

I always forgive, I just don’t forget
must say I live, but I won’t regret
I believe, life’s like russian roulette
you never know exactly what to expect

Really like this, good start.



my heart as it sinks, when it’s been broken
like showbiz, the show must go on
even at my lowest, or while I’m still chokin
so know this, I’ll never go blitz
as hard as my life gets, I’ll smile and will be jokin

I know the feeling, Feeling this.


cash flowin, quicker than grass growin
I still don’t need money to stash gold in
If its trash I’m holdin, it’s fine I’ll make it shine
like a piece of crystal glass glowin
I own this, I’m stronger than stone is
show me a rock, and I’ll turn it into a brass token

Went in with the flow, lyrics on point.


now I don’t need help, I can do anything myself
i just pray I keep my health, with out it it’s a living hell

Word.


Overall.. I liked this piece, this was a good read.
Keep it up

I agree with Tre Tru on this ... This was indeed a very poetic piece. It was really good, an enjoyable read. However the rhyming structure did throw me off a bit .. it was from rhyming couplets to that abab rhyme structure. Apart from that, this was a very good piece, it was presented good, had some really deep meaning, and it showed a good message. Keep it up

This came across as Spoken Word which makes it feel different I can imagine the emotion you could put into this piece...the use of your words is different...which makes this enjoyable...nice piece if I do say so myself...keep writing you got some skills

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I believe, life’s like russian roulette
you never know exactly what to expect

liked that it flowed great

your rhyme strings are long, kinda looks like you have a lil trouble transitioning between rhymes, i find if i start the bar with the rhyme off the last than that lets me transition seamlessly.. just a bit of advice for you

i liked it tho good content and stayed on point


keep rhymeing

ty 4 ur feed i will keep that in mind