TTT: Round One - JSteel -VS- Enders (Enders Wins)

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JDR
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TTT: Round One - JSteel -VS- Enders (Enders Wins)

Post by JDR »

Round One Rules

Check In By: Sunday 11:59EST
Due By: Monday 11:59EST
Submit Verses here
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5 Votes Win (3-0 is KO, 4-1 is TKO)

Voting Catagories
Flow-
Creativity -
Vocabulary -
Storytelling -

Please include a summary for your vote after the catagories

Only DETAILED VOTES ACCEPTED!

Write 7 Bars on the following....

...your Jewish in 1940 Germany, trapped in a Concentration camp

Goodluck..
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Re: TTT: Round One - JSteel -VS- Enders

Post by Enders »

- Apple Pork Chops
Pest wrote:[center]"Enders is an enigma wrapped inside of a paradox in the middle of a riddle"[/center]
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Jsteel
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Re: TTT: Round One - JSteel -VS- Enders

Post by Jsteel »

Check

[ Post made via Mobile Device ] Image



Sent my verse to speakers ...
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Re: TTT: Round One - JSteel -VS- Enders

Post by Speakers »

Enders
My 6 Fears

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Auschwitz- Our metaphor for the Holocaust, this state of war and all its cost-
Engraved in pores with soul exhaust, its grave sums wholes, that our world has lost-
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Chelmno- even if rarely known, hosted the depths of death in its “cabined” mess-
“the final solutions” <- the gas attempt, a method of monoxide to kill the rest-
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Belzec- From labor camp, to burial pit, a murder program model… yeah, check this shit:
“it’s a transit station, to shower, that’s it” but the shower was a gas chamber… line up… whiff.
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Treblinka- A remote forest camp, where the damned, hopeless stand-
Fence machine guns for those who ran, & 13 chambers for the other 2 grand-
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Sobibor- 160 to 180 people at a time, 12 by 12, Pandora's box, redefined-
Disguised as a farm where you breathe to die, the thought of what it's not, bleeds in time-
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Majdanek- Happiness is the home to life's greatest ambitions, or so we listen-
If so, then this in its whole, spells why we all missed it and stopped wishin-

My concentration camp is filthy, sick, filled with nazi dicks waiting to whip it out-
My camp is concentration, We stay positive cuz it's not extermination, we may live this route...
Resource: Jewish Virtual Library - The 6 Original Extermination Camps





-VS-




Jsteel

The skies grandeur bleeds with cuts from fallen angels...

Her cries land-here ,seeds of hers formin ,painful.

Shes tied and seared,needs for food calling,faithful,

she works.Cant feed hundreds of fetus thats in her.

Beats her is these thunders,a beast-,this is Hitler.

My life with no summers ,his weakness we cant injure.

My vision waited in darkness ,as i was feeding my ravenous thoughts

with a mission to make it out the hard-ship and all be leaving this cavernous hores/

9 months for freedom but we were uncertain

growing our plans and thesis as we were up hurtin

the prison was old and beaten,in the inside i was a glum person

religion had us bold on our quest
precision was our goal for this threat

but we were far from what we want,suddenly the women prison fell and slumped

her water broke but we werent grown enough,couldnt leave cuz our flesh wasnt done.
...
Aborted with gas chambers


expo:

a metaphor ...the prison is a women and we are inside that women as a fetus because hitler put us there,the women is being beaten by hitler because she is being filled with prisoners and the prison is like a slave to adolf hitler(the leader)...we are still forming our way to break out when we are killed...dont vote if you dont understand...
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Re: TTT: Round One - JSteel -VS- Enders

Post by Skeptikal »

Flow- JSteel
Creativity - Enders
Vocabulary - Enders
Storytelling - Enders
MVGT - Enders

Vocab was on point son. nice storytelling and creativity wit da pics. Im feelin the overall story. JSteel was dope and had some dope lines but overall the storytelling killed it for enders.
[center]...You Aint Fuckin Wit Me...
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Re: TTT: Round One - JSteel -VS- Enders

Post by Jsteel »

Yo skeptic,your vote is a little short. Not much detail ,as the rules states...only detailed votes accepted.

[ Post made via Mobile Device ] Image



Yo skeptic,your vote is a little short. Not much detail ,as the rules states...only detailed votes accepted.
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Re: TTT: Round One - JSteel -VS- Enders

Post by Quix »

Voting Catagories
Flow- Both were tough to follow at times. Enders flowed good after i copied apasted the verse without the pics.

Creativity - Tie - both had some nice ideas and content

Vocabulary - Enders Easy

Storytelling - Tie - again both did there thing.


Ok ... wow. This was close. You both made it absolutley challenging to follow. i mean, Enders did NOT need a picture seperating every bar. i mean that made the whole piece a bit choppy to me and rather random at times. But the same went for Jsteel. It just seemed liked you you were rhymeing some lines just because they fit. There were many parts i did enjoy in both pieces. But i guess thats i critique in me.


MVGT : Enders
Real Recognize Real ... who dah Fuck is you???

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Re: TTT: Round One - JSteel -VS- Enders

Post by Kau the Lion »

Flow: Enders (Steels flowed really well for the most part but there were a few stretched lines that gave Enders the edge.)
Multies: Tie (Both had some good ones. Both had some forced ones.)
Storytelling: Enders (I feel like he took us on a journey where as Steel was kind of summarizing the Holocaust through metaphor.)
Creativity: Tie (Steel would've won this category if not for the fact that blatantly spelled out his whole metaphor at the end. It really took away from it. And I'm not just talking the expo, either. Calling a woman prison just felt too obtuse. It's a shame, too. Because your first six lines were pure greatness.)
Imagery: Tie (I have to disregard the pictures in this category. It feels a bit unfair, that way. Otherwise, lyrically they both use some good expressions to show us the depravity of what was happening.)

Overall, Enders got this with a more cleanly executed verse. Both expressed some nice creativity and thought outside the box with this topic, so props to both.

+1 Enders
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Re: TTT: Round One - JSteel -VS- Enders

Post by Quix »

3-0 Enders
Real Recognize Real ... who dah Fuck is you???

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Re: TTT: Round One - JSteel -VS- Enders

Post by JDR »

Closed up...3-0
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