Hip Hop Forum

Posted: **Wed Nov 30, 2011 8:27 am**

Let me know what you guys think. I'm workin hard to put out as much material as I can right now to inspire myself and encourage others to do the same. Please leave feed and post links with work you want feed on.

Day One

I use vernacular with visceral to show my individual
And vast veracity
Well I ain't got no mom and dad, ya see
So that ensues a vicious bit of VAT'd vagary
and I am ill 'cause I was born from veneral vag disease
Then I victoriously ventured a world with vim and vigor
Vexed 'cause I'm a vagrant vagabond viciously gettin' bigger
Veered my way back to the very beginning to make my vantage victor
And differ from others, so I had to be born again
School was hard work - I'm a valedictorian
My salary's sorta been a vision of vindication
Workin' hard in college so I can go and take a big vacation
Thinkin' the kid had made it, gettin' lifted and faded
Positive you couldn't posit how my picture is painted
Everything within my life was an insatiable victus
She made the wish to raise some kids with me the day before Christmas
And they were twins - I couldn't take it, so I made her a viduage
Couldn't call it what it is, when it's plain that it isn't
Couldn't call it what it is, when it's plain that it isn't
So that's my legacy, bow and call it an endin'
And I'll be chillin in heaven with Mao, Stalin and Lenin

Posted: **Thu Dec 01, 2011 6:29 am**

Dis is not 2 bad I couldn't understand sum of da words u said tho if ur gonna flow fast make sure u pronounce things correctly in da future good thing u added the rhyme on dis 2 read... ur flow is dope tho u def got mad potential u jus need a lil work wit pronouncing things & take breaths while you rhyme 2 get dat flow or rhyme da way u want it. Stilo is also sick I think if u work on da things I told u bout also even tryin’ 2 memorize da rhyme 2 spit it da way u want you’ll be a dope emcee in no time props on dis hope 2 hear more 4rm u

Posted: **Wed Dec 07, 2011 2:27 am**

Workin' hard in college so I can go and take a big vacation

You fell off there, quite noticably. Thats a LOT of V's though lol. Quality is pretty cool, undergroundish, delivery could use some pauses, but not bad man, keep dropping, nice to see some text heads merging into audio

RTF? http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/colle ... 24786.html

Posted: **Mon Dec 12, 2011 8:58 pm**

ya voice is pretty cool...this delivery style is pretty laid back but its aight bro jus a lil monotone is all...ya flo is pretty dope...spittin real fast..at least ya rhymescheme is inline..wich is hard wid this type of flo..

it had a bit of an ol school flavor to it..but this was aight..
i get what HKX was sayin about not understandin the words...lucky you
typed out the lycks tho...

this was aight for what it was...keep doin ya thing...1

Posted: **Tue Dec 13, 2011 5:47 pm**

pretty good work playin on the V's, and u didnt seem to force them were they didnt work.
there were quite a few of those "V" words that i had no idea the meaning of.
i guess thats only my fault tho.
the beat is pretty tite and ur flow was cool. but yea the mix could be better. the beat was much louder than ur vocals. like alvin said, ur flow kinda fell off at that part. u could reassess how u wanna spit that part to make it work cuz the rest seems pretty on point.
u can definitely rap, but try to get in the studio, or get a decent mic and i think u could lay down somethin solid.

Posted: **Wed Dec 14, 2011 9:26 am**

dudethis was nice... i liked it man.. solid presence a few slip ups but nothing big.. like the concept of letter flow
you held it down with a good vocab
solid presence

could have been a bit more aggressive.,

Posted: **Wed Dec 14, 2011 8:24 pm**

Alright man ...

I can see what you're goin' for and where you're at.

You've got an armory of vocab but don't let it make you a slave. I think what you're doin' is perfect in the sense that you're experiementing with different combinations of syllables and trying to hit a lot of similiar constanants maybe like Blackalicious. I guess what I would suggest is trying to scat over the beat, without any particular words, just get a ryhthm of what you'd like to do and the sounds. Be mindful of how long those bars are going and try to get your words to work for you instead of the other way around ...

Keep doin' your thing!

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