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Ego

Posted: Sat Nov 26, 2011 9:29 pm
by NeverOddOrEven
Just a quick piece I wrote before going to bed to clear some thoughts...

Ego

What is ego?

A navigation device so we can reflect
When we get lost on our paths, so we can see every step
The seed and the stem from the apple in Eden we've eaten
so Adam and Eve can battle the Beast when the demons ascend
A new breed of men, DNA coded to reach stars
Til our egos march back to our Deity's heart
Our genes are smart and recognize the people we are
The same hydrogen in us forms helium stars
Make sense? I'll let it click with the biggest of bangs
We're mathematically confined to some tritium game
An infinite chain of balancing the Ying and the Yang
A seesaw between bliss and insidious pain
Adam and Eve? Or Atoms and Evo-lution?
Either way, look at the city - all you see's pollution
People shootin', corporations, and briefcases movin'
Our ego could change it, but it won't when it needs a boostin'

Re: Ego

Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2011 1:31 pm
by MonuMental
Dude, you got some mad fucking writing... This was pretty clean, some of it didn't feel so on topic, but it IS open to interpretation, I'm assuming. With that being said, I thoroughly enjoyed reading. Next time, with a piece such as this, all I'd say is try to make it longer. Dope, stay up.

Re: Ego

Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2011 5:44 pm
by Kau the Lion
Like monumental said, it felt like it drifted a bit, especially towards the end. I would say this describes the id more than the ego, but that's just my personal opinion. Otherwise, this had a really crisp flow with some nice multies and I liked the content too. Ironically, where the topic strayed I thought those were the best bars.