Hip Hop Forum

Sometimes i write to keep the evil out of my mind.
But I get sloppy and write everything out of line.
As I post every word and every letter that's on this page.
It comforts my mind my soul and my emotions of rage.
I've kept so many things held deep within'.
Not knowin' wether to even keep a friend.
Cause mostly anyone you trust are quick to turn.
The wrong way with this I really had to just learn.
The judgement day hasn't yet arrived.
Not knowing wether i'm even soon to die.
Sometimes I just wonder, Why? What? and when?
Everything is just like, I really must just begin to win.
I'm on a never ending game without any type of cheats.
The pain in my mind, body, heart, and soul keeps me weak.
But my writing replenishes my energy.
Not knowin' why it did this to me.
Yet sometimes i cry lettin many tears drop from my eye.
But just sometimes, Sometimes Well sometimes we all just die.

[I don't really understand this meaning yet....that's just in my heart....kinda sloppy wrote...but write some kind of feed back] oh yeah thanks tom for actually commenting the other one....[this took me no more then 5 minutes.....1

Nicely Done For The Most Part. The Structure Could Of Been Layed Out Better. Was A Little Too Sloppy So You Fell Off On Some Points. It Does Got Good Emotion Behind It. Poems Aren't Really Freestyle Pieces So I Think If You Took Longer Then 5 Minutes It Would Of Came Out Better..Other Then That pretty Good Man, Keep Doin Ya Thing Homie. 5/10

Everybody has structure problems, but good for the most.

I Like It .. Ya Piece Had Alot Feel 2 It .. Deep
Good Shit

yeah man nice shit keep it up...