Hip Hop Forum

yo this a WRITTEN VERSE,for those bitches SPLITTING HAIRS
it's like their vision IS IMPAIRED,
its ironic laughter, they died tied to the bonnet after CLIPPING THE KERB on a SELF DRIVEN HEARSE,
their music an their graves they're the only ones EVER DIGGING THEIRS,
think what they SPIT IS SUPERB,an think this KID IS a NERD,
claim to be SICK WITH A VERSE, "butt" simply i kill a script i'm just ILLER WITH WORDS,
to put it "brief","CK"'S "shit", will have them FILLING THEIR "PAIRS",
they're the type who throw two stones just for KILLING (A) BIRD,
I'd kill each an everyone "simp(L,)son" like pricipal SKINNER WAS THERE.
KID IS AWARE, that his SCRIPTURES ARE RARE,
he's got LYRICS TO SPARE,their WIT ISN'T HEARD
coz they're LISTENED TO RARE,and their image is blurred like PICTURES OF AIR.
these VILLAINS ARE GETTIN SERVED, when im DELIVERING (THERE'S THEY'RES THEIRS).

their music an their graves they're the only ones EVER DIGGING THEIRS

i "dig" this line bro

all i got to say, sry im impatient

Ur definitely improving... it seems u may have figured out what a punch line is... flow was good... but the Simpson line was not working at all... but like I said ur improving so... thumbs up there

Your decent jus need to improve in certain areas...

The structures a lot better than it was for sure. It's a little awkward in spots but i didn't get a headache trying to read it this time! Haha keep em comin, youre getting better.

[ Post made via Android ]

I agree with Light, your stucture is much better and your flow is much easier to pick up now. wasn't crazy about it, but it was a good read. like the topic

think what they SPIT IS SUPERB,an think this KID IS a NERD,
claim to be SICK WITH A VERSE, "butt" simply i kill a script i'm just ILLER WITH WORDS

My fav bar.



1

thanks quix

CBK, elevation is a steady and gradual thing, and I feel like you've done a great deal of it in a short amount of time, so props for that. Mostly, I say fuck a structure, just write how it comes, but I'm picking up on some pretty sick flow in this piece and some nice multies, too. Keep at it, bruh. Props.

Good Read!Constant Flow,nice lines...Good Multies..I See improvement!Keep droppin man!We could hit a Collab some time..Nice!

[ Post made via BlackBerry ]

nice I like the way you structure looking forward to reading more of your ish