Hip Hop Forum

Now u could live 4 da moment take life 1 day @ a time, or u could plan 4 ya future like u kno wen ya goin die, but in time ud realize dat life aint promised 2 no 1, n every day a good day if its spent above ground, n ya I kno I'm living wrong, n I've caused my share of harm, but u wouldn't b living rite if u was born wer I'm from, 2 many haters congregating, demonstrating their hatred, motivating these conversations, until I run otta patience, maybe its hell dat I'm chasing, maybe its death dat I'm facing, confrontations wit mental patients, in exotic locations, situations we're hope is vacant, & there's no sense in waiting, cuz hesitation means levitation, if bullets embrace em, police statements & allegations have me spread on da pavement, but relations wit special agents, has me slipping dem payments, for retaining information, so I don't have 2 go station, but all da while I'm creating a master plan 2 erase dem, cuz their takin 20% of every dime dat I'm makin, & got me squeezing every penny while their taking vacations, so I'm saying if I'm paying, den I don't wanna hear claims, so y the fuck my name is always on the front of page, dats y I hate these fuckin pigs, their just as grimy as me, dats y I luv 2 c u fuckin swine rotting in peace, so nigga fuck the police, talkin bout dey wanna c peace, but without niggaz like me, dem motha fuckers can't eat, so I'm just playin my part & raising up on da charts, I played da hand I was given so now I'm dealin da cards, so fuck da judge & da jury fuck the FBI, & all dem undercover cops dat luv 2 wear a disguise, its fuck da CIA & da ATF 2, if u don't like wat I just said den nigga fuck u 2, I'm just speakin tha truth, police don't give a fuck about you, and any slight little excuse gives em permission 2 shoot, I felt threaten thought he had a weapon, in his possession, it all happened in a second, saw him reach in his jacket, so my reaction, was only based on my own protection, nows there's another nigga dead n no one cares just wat happened, nobody's askin no questions, no consequence 4 his actions, so he can't help but crack a smile as dey wrap us in plastic, its drastic, how many of us layin in caskets, more tragic how many of us tend 2 look pass it, now I'm askin, myself wat would I do 4 dat wealth, & if push came 2 shove is it worth more den my health

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Yo, I felt this piece was pretty cold for a few reasons. I also felt it was lacking for a few reasons, as well.
Pros: First off, you had a nearly seamless flow all the way through.
Secondly, I fucking hate cops and everything to do with them, so I dug it.

Cons:
Firstly, the structure is definitely in a whack ass format, but I see you did this from mobile, so I guess it can be excused.
Second off, there was nothing highly spectacular in this piece. Nothing to "WOW" an audience. You did your thing, and it was tight, but that's that. Not to take anything away from your work or art, I felt it gave us some primary insight into your style. At least for those of us who took the time to read through the maze of your structure.

Stay up.

i feel it!
keep on the site man