Hip Hop Forum

me being sick thats not a maybe i look at my life an know that im crazy//
and no medical cure can faze me because only i can save me
pain isnt even an issue doc says its effecting my brain tissue//
but i think its a lame excuse medical science once again misused
thru lies n hate my mind in a sickened state still i manage to keep my faith//
ive made hella mistakes but i dont fall no i pray, just to elevate
at rates unparalleled but still my heaven on earth i fear is hell//
yeah im scared and still, i keep up so me stop well u never no where i will
i constantly fight ta dismantle my dreams so i can just sleep at night//
my methods cant be right cus i still see the dark break into light
so many questions untold like where are our souls when our eyes are closed?//
and was it in or because of our hearts that our gods son arose
i lended an ear to a man in torn clothes with no home on a bench cold//
he told me to a man lost in life's folds that the thought of a god is old
so ask urself this question during your last seconds while your life's ending//
will u believe or be pretending?

This was a nice lil piece ya had going, especially for a first post. A few lines really stuck out to me, and I'll quote them shortly, I'd just say to keep doing you and elevation will take you of it's own accord. I'm not one to correct a man's style, and I don't really see anything wrong. Nice lines:

so many questions untold like where are our souls when our eyes are closed?//

This single line stuck out to me simply because of the content and the way that you said it. Nice wording.

i lended an ear to a man in torn clothes with no home on a bench cold//
he told me to a man lost in life's folds that the thought of a god is old
so ask urself this question during your last seconds while your life's ending//
will u believe or be pretending?

These bars were the best out of the whole piece, imo. They were deep and heartfelt. Nice job, man. Stay up.

Great first post. A lot of lyrics stuck out compared to a lot of other posts i have read. Im not how well it flows when you say it, but good nonetheless.