Hip Hop Forum

So no one thought much of my first couple of posts. That’s OK, I revel in mediocrity (although I do have a hard shell so telling me what I’m doing wrong is ok).

Anyway, let’s try something a little sillier…



Bring broke beats and we’ll bring back bodies
With bandwidth booming and parity to party
Fresh reel, even keel, harder than biscotti
Dashin’ and dapper, got your gal actin’ naughty

Spin round, hit ground; running faster than your mouth
This crass carol crooning caries way down south
Of the border, second order, always willing to joust
We’ll be calculating the corrections cause you’re sure no Proust

Now laboratory living’s got me funneling fumes
Boundless beakers boiling back here from January to June
Enveloping me with ether while peroxides go boom
& 2CB is key to keep peeps populating the moon

Cause caustic crystallations keep giving needles for night-
Time traveling which leads to fermentations of fright-
Full apparitions which approach in the appearance of might
And on the trip down only leave desolation and blight.

had a smooth flow was the most technical piece but it read like butter.

like the 3rd stanza the best


good shit and welcome to illest man

nice flow an all but yeah throw some WOW factors in that shit and you'll get feed... honestly u wanna be more entertaining than the newspaper

Thanks a lot to both of you for the feed. I think it does need some more WOW factors, but at least I have some amount of flow which I guess is a good place to start.

I thought your vocab was superb, and the flow in this piece was def smooth. I'd say write us something longer and more emotionally striking, if you can kinda feel what I mean by that? Anyways, nice work on this here.