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Prometheus

Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2011 3:34 am
by Soulo
[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQPnXZdkzU4[/video]

I'm searching for hope, desperate and learning to cope
I'm mentally broke confined so it's hard for personal growth
I gave 'fire' to man as part of my retirement plan
and now these murderous folks love defiling the land
in the style of a man tirelessly so this back'fired' on me
so literally Prometheus is what I'm dying to be
playing with flames, I paid the price of my vice
but it's all judgment till their own life is applied
chained to the rocks and blaming the gods
satirical plays when I'm 'burning' with hate in my thoughts
with pain my guts and no way I'm breaking these cuffs
let alone taking 'em off,
the provider of power humans with terror and sin
compared to Zeus I helped man grow better than him
even he don't know where to begin: stoic as shit
never answering a prayer to him the point is
in layman's terms I think Jehovah's a bitch
so I'm rhyming the facts with the life that I lack
trying to reach the knife in my back...


will update*

Re: Prometheus

Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2011 12:59 am
by Shawnmd
I agree, because this was a great verse. An original post for sure and nice choice for a beat. Your flow on here was near perfect. Check out my 'Beast from the East' post in the written rhymes section.

Re: Prometheus

Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2011 1:03 am
by Kuhlerblynd
You should definitely write more and expand on this. I thought your vocab was solid, you had some good metaphors involved, and you did really well bringing your emotion out in this piece. Some of your multi's were off just a little, and one line in there seemed pretty long, which threw the flow off for me... Other-wise, this is a great start man. You should finish this one up! Keep writing!