Hip Hop Forum

All I see in my environment are varmints
Creatures that are harmless
Trying to hard to intimidate my squadron
Initiate and frolic with my feelings and often
This Mt. Vesuvius explodes on Pompeii and all it's prospects
And stays dormant just for while
Digesting all these trials like the liver's bile
As a child while mother would look at me and smile
My vital points would be exposed, though I wouldn't like them
I been the shy one for as long as Father Time remembers
I was never happy, but I was a find pretender
I only acted like I cared to render my attention
I was dismissive in denial living, more vulnerable than I envisioned
Try to picture this persona of mine
A lone monk with several chambers and a tower to climb
One staff, punks laugh in regard to the skill I have
Pain's nothing, but a scar with a tick attached
Pull it off and the scar will begin to scab
Life's cycle is like water for fish and bass
Or, addition, math, sickled grass, any rhythm
In this life I fit tight like skinny denim
Plenty mention my beginning full of split decisions
And them four little kids I live with, my bros.
They motivate me in ways no one could ever know
And if we going down we sink like a metal boat
Are instinct's, in sync like Joey Fatone
We do it on are own, if you ask me
I'm walking on narrow path with my dad's feet
Dry and ashy, carrying heavy cobblestones
I'm never lifting any weight unless it's mine alone
If I don't, I will expand like the gas inside of foam
Persuading parades of people portraying clowns
Putting pounds of pressure on everyone when they laying down
Going down like styrofoam cups to the ocean's ground, drowned
Gasp for air if you care about yours then
Life's like polo, and not Ralph Lauren's
Throw the wooden ball into the goal of an opponents'
From then until now you better keep scoring
Keep everything in one, unison is real important
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I liked this piece, motivational and what not. The flow was pretty smooth in me head. Solid content. Some nice lines.

Pain's nothing, but a scar with a tick attached
Pull it off and the scar will begin to scab

^^^Those being the sickest, imo. Good shit, stay up.

Thanks man, I gotta try to get more feed on this.

-- Tue Sep 13, 2011 11:54 pm --

Thanks man, I gotta try to get more feed on this.

good post. i like what your trying to do with the vocab man but dont break your rhyme scheme just to use more complex words. if its a choice between flow and vocab id stick with flow. keep it up tho man. respect