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Perpetual Greatness

Posted: Tue Sep 06, 2011 8:07 am
by Caligari
I’ve been in the darkest of places, from the stone to chrome ages
Where I roam, I’ve been shown to be known as the dangerous
My work’s locked up in cages, in the pages of mages’
Sought after and read by the dead and courageous
The nameless and faceless who all seek to be famous
That they would cop to the top, and forget what’s the basis
but it don’t matter the status, they fall as soon as they made it
the latest never equable to my perpetual greatness.
I’m the sentinel, the incredible in the textual field
With deadly ideals, you’re not ready for what my cerebral wields
There’s no shield capable of withstanding this force
As i outsource a Trojan horse in the guise of a corpse
on your porch wrapped safely like a baby from storks
when inside I hide patiently until I am sure of your snore
then unleash the beast who for weeks and more was stored
away in the decayed which I had implored.

Re: Perpetual Greatness

Posted: Tue Sep 06, 2011 9:20 am
by Loon E Lou
This is real fresh. Im really diggin the flow on this here no doubt. Good rhymeschemes as well as a proper use of vocab. Good inner multies on a few lines. Your structure was straight. Really helped me get into ur verse with the nice structure. This is the first piece i read from ya and theres no complaints on this end. Good solid verse imo. What do i kno tho haha

[ Post made via iPhone ] Image

Re: Perpetual Greatness

Posted: Tue Sep 06, 2011 9:22 am
by MonuMental
Some tight lines in this here piece, some cool schemes and a nice flow. Nothing threw me off and it was an enjoyable read, imo.
I’ve been in the darkest of places, from the stone to chrome ages
Where I roam, I’ve been shown to be known as the dangerous
My work’s locked up in cages, in the pages of mages’
Sought after and read by the dead and courageous
Pretty sick opener. I enjoyed the latter half of it, personally.
There’s no shield capable of withstanding this force
As i outsource a Trojan horse in the guise of a corpse
I thought these here lines ripped too. Good shit.

Nice drop, stay up.

Re: Perpetual Greatness

Posted: Tue Sep 06, 2011 11:45 am
by M33Kish
It does sound like sex, real wet and juicy... Just without that regretfully depressing silent exit.

[ Post made via Android ] Image

Re: Perpetual Greatness

Posted: Tue Sep 06, 2011 2:02 pm
by Kuhlerblynd
I like this topic and approach, definitely something a good writer can get into. I saw alot of good imagery, and the flow was smooth as fuck. I would really like to see more of your work, possibly get on a collab with you, or at least see you continue to bring fresh drops to the site.
I thought you painted a good picture here with the emotion also. Well said man, keep the creativity coming.