Hip Hop Forum

This girl called Tammy, I writ a rap to her lol
While listening to a instrumental of Big L - Holdin' It Down
just something quick I writ too her, took about 15 mins.

Tammy's reward, is a Grammy Award,
her smile shines, shes a worthwhile 1 of a Kind,
cause its all About U, without a doubt boo,
Tammy's Holdin' It Down, Miami's beholdin' it downtown,
DJ Sammy already explained your like Heaven,
Tammy you already obtained me like a Citroen,
You light me up, you bright the sky up,
I could write for days about you,
I stood tonight and gazed at you,
even if I'm with The Dark Side Crew,
leavin' the park I'm besides you,

It's fairly decent, i just noticed that you ended 3 of your lines with 'you'. Perhaps mix up the rhyme scheme. Not much to gain from this honestly. She'd love it though.

Yeah, I wouldn't too much use the same end rhyme that much unless I had a completely different context to use it in every time. Other than that I'd just say do you and elevation will follow. Stay up.

Haha since you mentioned me using "you" 3 times, I've only just noticed it.