Hip Hop Forum

Posted: **Sun Aug 28, 2011 3:25 pm**

I learned to be a man by keeping hands to myself
If you were smart you'd understand, keep ya man on the shelf
cause i'm bad for ya health, better yet worse for ya well being
i'm merely a criminal retelling what i'm seeing
irony's when you got more shit then when your fucking dreaming
reality's when ya wake up they don't understand your meaning
even when your screaming at 'em and pleading with them to listen
cause you ain't even spitting fire, you're fucking spitting fission
words splitting atoms and i ain't talking about genesis
a haters rhyme is like a shitty story time , can we finish this
your hoe's giving head and i need to leave like some lettuce bitch
running with an army, show respect to my regiments
my legacy will be my minds complexity
so even when i die they'll never get the best of me
hard times make me put the kush in like a sofa
it's game over when stepping to the backwood soldier
Statics making moves like a fucking chess piece
you gonna need more then words just to impress me
money over bitches unless he wants to test me
it's depressing when a man can't can't share his blessing
as a matter of fact the mad hatter is back scattering blasts
always on E but I never ever get gassed
quick to catch a charge like a battery pack
could we ever get over that or would you overreact
when i do return, i scream i'm back like a spinal chord
no dj, so you'll get scratched like vinyl floor

Posted: **Sun Aug 28, 2011 3:42 pm**

Static wrote:I learned to be a man by keeping hands to myself
If you were smart you'd understand, keep ya man on the shelf
cause i'm bad for ya health, better yet worse for ya well being
i'm merely a criminal retelling what i'm seeing
irony's when you got more shit then when your fucking dreaming
reality's when ya wake up they don't understand your meaning
pretty cool so far. flows solid and reads well, not seeing any multis but multiple syllable single word rhymes. but that dont make it bad. still good so far

even when your screaming at 'em and pleading with them to listen
cause you ain't even spitting fire, you're fucking spit fission
last part should be re-worded, "YOU ARE (you're) FUCKING SPIT FISSION"
doesnt make sense, you're is the contraction so you still have to follow that. should say "YOURE FUCKING SPITTING FISSION". just saying

words splitting atoms and i ain't talking about genesis
a haters rhyme is like a shitty story time , can we finish this
your hoe's giving head and i need to leave like some lettuce bitch
running with an army, show respect to my regiments
my legacy will be my minds complexity
so even when i die they'll never get the best of me
still pretty decent. like the lettuce bitch line lol

hard times make me put the kush in like a sofa
it's game over when stepping to the backwood soldier
Statics making moves like a fucking chess piece
you gonna need more then words just to impress me
money over bitches unless he wants to test me
it's depressing when a man can't can't share his blessing
as a matter of fact the mad hatter is back scattering blasts
always on E but I never ever get gassed
quick to catch a charge like a battery pack
could we ever get over that or would you overreact
when i do return, i scream i'm back like a spinal chord
no dj, so you'll get scratched like vinyl floor

I liked that KUSH line lot, pretty dope. and the Always on E line was pretty cool i thought. it was kinda weird how you switched at the part "share his blessing"/"as a matter of fact" etc, you changed up ya rhyme scheme completely and wasnt even similar to the earlier half ? just wondering why you waited to drop youre better lines.

pretty solid shit, the second half of the verse was better when you switched the rhyme scheme i think.

Posted: **Mon Aug 29, 2011 12:45 am**

i was really trying to mix a different set of rhyme schemes with my usual style, more for contrast then anything else. just switching it up because i usually have an almost rapid multi style and wanted to expirememnt with other things. The fission line is merely a tyypo, it's supposed to be "spitting".

Posted: **Mon Aug 29, 2011 12:54 am**

To me, I got quite a Royce Da 5'9 feel to it. Some of the lines were well thought out. I liked these two best:

irony's when you got more shit then when your fucking dreaming
reality's when ya wake up they don't understand your meaning

It come off with real trackish audio feel to it. It doesent really have a meaning to it per say, but it comes off like you would murder a track with it, and anyone collabing. Good read and it came off well.

Posted: **Mon Aug 29, 2011 1:37 am**

This was a nice drop man. lt had nice flow, some really good lines, didn't have many multis though IMO. I agree with Anti, I also thought that the 2nd half from "matter of fact ..." was better than the 1st. Overall a nice piece, but there's certainly room 4 improvement

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