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I guess ill just wait.

Posted: Sat Aug 27, 2011 8:55 am
by ridicule_one
Something for now...alittle something that came to mind and thought id share it with u guys..stay up.



Nights like this destroy my mind-state,
Ive ripped love out and it wasnt really heart-shaped,
wait, let me start over with a clean slate,
i screwed myself in this life twice guess i was self raped,
mistake after mistake, lifes crumble like VA and its earthquake,
Shake my nerves off while i wait and sit straight,
Look at the window and Hesitate to take place,
In a suicide note i accidently mis- placed,
Great, i face the thoughts of evil and its bad traits,
A One way ticket to hells gate, In a wells crate,
Well maybe if i dont jump ill swalllow my pride and taste fate,
On a small plate, devestate our own race,be hard on the streets like i threw weights,
Im dead inside so f*** a soul-mate.

[ Post made via iPhone ] Image

Re: I guess ill just wait.

Posted: Sat Aug 27, 2011 4:43 pm
by MonuMental
Not bad, dude. You can definitely improve, but the same can be said of everyone to a certain degree. However, you should go and feed two other pieces before posting one of your own. Not only is it site rules, it's courteous. More people will fed you if you contribute to the community effort. Just dropping knowledge on you.