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Castle of Mystery

Posted: Fri Aug 26, 2011 6:39 am
by For Real
Castles of Mystery
Up In The Sky

Stars, gaps in the darkness, brighten the world by candle light,
Constellation hierogliphics, hang down from above like stalagtites,
Planets fight, to become, the centrepiece of the picture,
The war is done, the commanding moon leads the militia,
Silent, the sky is an easle, the paint pot had been opened,
Dashes of violet, appear as drops in the ocean,
A song of emotion, played on the face of it's navy canvas,
Glowing spatters of paint, aim to escape the blackness,
Planets are horses, dragging a carridge of history,
Clouds standing guard, keeping back a castle of mystery,
I start to envision, a place I can stay which is far from a prison,
It's difficult to depict the picture; we are part of the system.

Re: Castle of Mystery

Posted: Fri Aug 26, 2011 12:40 pm
by Alvin
Try feeing others pieces man, you write nice things but no one wants to give feed back to the guy who doesn't feed anything

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Re: Castle of Mystery

Posted: Fri Aug 26, 2011 6:52 pm
by For Real
Yeah I hear you, jus been busy as of late. Ill go sweep the threads as I have some time now.

Re: Castle of Mystery

Posted: Mon Aug 29, 2011 12:59 am
by Static
it's great, i personally loved the "Silent, the sky is an easle, the paint pot had been opened,
Dashes of violet, appear as drops in the ocean," line, but canvas and blackness don't really rhyme that threw me for a second.

Re: Castle of Mystery

Posted: Mon Aug 29, 2011 3:25 am
by 88SkyLink
Another dope written. The description was top-notch, nicely complemented by the choice of vocabulary. What I liked about it was the simplicity of it in general, which made the flow smooth and perfect. I feel that a guy with such calibre, you could've added another verse. All in all a nice drop, keep it up man ... peace

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