Hip Hop Forum

*clears throat*

well...
here goes

Yo, i'm labeled insane, detained to an unstable terrain/
enable and drain, with enough rhymes to disable ya brain/
gracefull domain, grow horns with a angel detained/
painfull and plain, to face death with a hatefull remain/
collecting my staff, split the section then connecting the half/
projecting my laugh, slaughter foes till its effecting the graph/
refigure ya mass, till ya face is BURIED inspecting the GRASS/
who do you object to surpass?, drop flows till your respectin' my class/
put you in a hospital possession, i'm a technological sucession/
no basic recolection, my lines are a ecological obsession/
answer to no question, with a comical progression/
and to mention, i'll leave you going down hill like a economical recession/
I'm faintly obscene, to see Haley in a dream/
mainly machine, lazy on the outside and crazy in between/
gravely convene, thoughts of success but barely a teen/
its the extent of my plan, and the intent to expand/
decent and withstand, rhymes to invent with my hand/
repent to no man, then slowly segment where you stand/
damned with a higher chance to flow then disband/

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/the-pain-vt23700.html
http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/life- ... 23564.html

This was a good piece. It had multies all over, flow was good and I liked that bit of horrocore style you used. What I think you lacked was the punchlines. The recession reference was really good, but try adding more of em. Overall a good post but theres still work to be done, so keep up the good work ... peace

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It was pretty dope overall, Arc. I was only thrown off in a few places, and those were nothing major, just little quirks in your style that I would have managed differently. It was a pretty interesting read. I'm glad to see you dropping again. Keep at it, bruh.

yeah i see what you guys are saying haha. i rushed through this one its not at all like my other pieces, next piece will be better i guarantee it