Hip Hop Forum

You Know the rules...

We Want The 3rd Party To Pick a Topic For Both Of Us

8Bars = 16Lines

Due After Topic Is Drop.

From earlier today in the shoutbox:

"Disappointment from being the hand not used to masturbate" - 3rd String I believe.



Edited by K PANDA:
For the future, lets try and decide on topic and rules before the match is set in the battle grounds. The only posts in the battle grounds should be CHECKS, VERSES, AND VOTES. Thank you, as you were.

she didnt want to use me of course,im cutting niggas more than most sports
butt i helped her open the doors,hotter than the sun when shes wetter than the shores
i would never watch any man,but he could be easily ripped,crushed,or torn like a plan
most of your phones,all from japan,you might need to wash your hands
im fresher than the east coast,west coast,i was there during the weed smoke
she smoked,we joked,i poked sum hoes,they rolled,so much it looked like nothing but trees smoke
something smelt strong,i felt thongs,im the left hand and the right is getting it in tonite
im swifter than winds in sight,if shes got matches,i'll win some fights
im stronger than jeeter,she invited some friends over,now things get deeper,
one says he wants to beat-her,a stab in the back,now his back is wetter than a beaners
the other 2,try to run and hide,now the gun is high,bullets run, they die
a mind has changed on the inside,in-time,she will need me to get high
without a wink,now the mercedes door opens,the hot wiring almost complete,
were gone from trees,now we see more speed than the fiends
then we hit a collision,the destruction was more than nothin' she was huffin and puffin
the flames still growing,and shes still hotter than a muffin,i got burnt faster than an oven

-- Thu Aug 25, 2011 1:30 am --

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/thu-h ... 23727.html

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/kultu ... ml#p180029

Blake, I literally have no idea what you were talking about. Here is my attempt at following the storyline;

A girl doesent want you. You are cutting guys.
You helped her open a metaphorical door. She is wet, which makes her hot.
You dont watch men, but he was easy to beat up.
Your phone is from asia, which makes your hands dirty.
You are fresh, and people were smoking weed.
You smoked with some girls who were getting high and fingered them.
You are now the left hand holding a girls side and the right continues fingering.
You are swift, and if she arranges fights, or has a match, you will beat people up.
You are strong. She invites her friends over.
Some guy says he wants to beat some girl, and she stabs him in the back.
Two girls try to run away and get shot.
Some girl changed her mind about something, and needs to get you high.
A mercades door opens, and there is some hotwiring.
You steal this car, and drive fast.
You "hit a collision", crash and a girl is hyperventilating.
She's getting burned, and then you are getting burned.

I don't like being this critical, and feel like a dick, but this is the worst verse I've read. Sorry man, I know it will be hard for you to accept that as feedback, but I'm going to be honest. The storyline was completley ridiculous and impossible to follow, the rhyming was pretty basic and some of the wording was crazy. You hit a collision? And the metaphors were awful. Ripped and torn like a plan? Hotter than a muffin? Again, sorry about this, but it's just my opinion and to me, it was terrible. Sorry.

Thu Hem, where was the topic used throughout all of this? You used some basic bragging stuff, and then at the end randomly through in the topic out of nowhere, and it didnt fit in there. I have no idea what the last line has to do with the verse. The previous lines had nothing to do with the last line.

To be honest, this was a terrible topical. I don't like being that blunt with it, but I find it hard to give any compliments and not be that harsh. It was one verse which made no sense, verses one which just bragged. Neither had anything to do with the topic, and neither showed any good flow or rhyming. Ive said it a lot, but sorry about the frank nature of the vote, but it's got to be said.

I vote Thu Hem.

hmmmm what did i just read?

flow - thu em
relevance - blake downs
delivery - thu em

vote - thu em

???
story-thu hen
creativity thu hem
relevence thu hem-mvgt thu hem

Thu Hem wins KO