Hip Hop Forum

I know this is a short piece , but I havent posted in a while , cus i stopped writing , so i mite be a little rusty ... but leave me some feedback and tell me what you think
OH ... i left feed on "notions" and "my @mbitions"

-It really does hurt , to lose it all in a minute
-Love that we created , never knew it had limits
-Without you I felt different , not my usual spirit
-But I turned ugly emotions into beautiful lyrics
-Hear the cello in the room , as I formed an explanation
-That this mellow , gloomy mood , only formed some inspiration
-Cause Id hate having to wrestle every morning with frustration
-Till the paper and the pencil started forming conversation
-I would simply let it out , like the urine when its freed
-I would leak it on the pad , like a woman when she bleeds
-Cause I thought it was a scheme , and youd really hate to leave
-But it wasnt what it seemed and I appreciate the deed
-You really must of thought id put my head against the trigger huh ?
-Yes I lost your love , but I gained an even bigger one
-I knew that we would never fit cause wealth was on your mind
-So all you did was benefit and help with all my lines

[ Post made via Android ]

wow loved it! nice flow, and metaphores i really enjoyed reading this!

my fav lines ;
-Without you I felt different , not my usual spirit
-But I turned ugly emotions into beautiful lyrics
-Hear the cello in the room , as I formed an explanation
That this mellow , gloomy mood , only formed some inspiration
-Till the paper and the pencil started forming conversation
-I would simply let it out , like the urine when its freed
-I would leak it on the pad , like a woman when she bleeds

Thanks , I appreciate the feedback

[ Post made via Android ]