Hip Hop Forum

It's 4:00 AM, im thirsy and this insomnia is such a mental torture
dry like desert vultures, I proceded downstairs for a drink of water
almost down the steps my feet are soaking wet from a crimson path
I run down and notice my mistress on her back with her wrists slashed
suicide I thought? wait I noticed more blows and puncture wounds
wind gusts blew from the axe swung from the dark side of the room
she found out the affair, a gentle loving woman driven psychotic
stunned by the red sauce splatter patterns looking hyroglific symbolic
they must of scuffled, my wife too battered from the violent struggle
I knocked her off guard and use a sheet as a reliable muzzle
I walked her to the kicthen, floor boards crunching like the wood
of a hanging post met by an executioner draped in a cape and hood
I handed her a knife, and told her to retribute that taken life
smooth talking her into feeling her emotional savagery wasn't right
to protect her honor, she obliged that she couldn't pursue it alive
she wasn't considered a murderer, they ruled the case a double suicide

This was real nice... to bad dude no showed but... still a good drop..

Piff Cakes. Nice Warm Up for the Tournament I see.

started off well, set d scene and shit. crimson path/wrists slash was broken so it fucked up d flow a bit. the ending was good and you did quite well progressin through d story and stuff. not a bad drop here. ill look forward to readin more

apart from maybe using more words than needed this was a very good drop. the flow was a little here and there but i am assuming you can make up for that while delivering the verse.i know i am relatively new to this so i shouldnt be handing out advice. what was the topic?