Hip Hop Forum

i started this as my WAR collaboration piece but i dont think this is the direction the rest were gonna go with it.... so i will rewrite... but drop me some feed...


i opened my minds door, and type with eyes sore, spent hours trying to describe war
from Baghdad to corners.. a bad ass.. a coroner.. and that drunk that cries poor
i once dropped him a penny the guy swore... he said u couldnt provide more
storm-in Normandy right ta my shore, face paint, sly whores, or the kind G I's wore
crime soars, thugs implied more but politicians lie for the chance ta rise forth
work horses, hoofs been stained just like hoods n gangs they call it justified gore
then every July fourth out of the sky pours a celebration so many have died for
at home a soldiers life mourned, prides formed but who justifies his five tours

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/post1 ... ml#p177296
http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/post1 ... ml#p176776

The content and flow are quite profound. I will be looking forward to the completed version.

it was well written, i would quote some but i dont feel like it. Nice to see some depth in your written...good structure, flow and so forth

yeah another dope drop from ya.. like the continous rhyme multi.. great shit man.. need more

Good look on the feed

Yeeah mayne! thts a good one,expectin the finishd version ta get sicker, nice flow above all and good "simply complex" rhymes too...check out some of me stuff!

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This was actually a smooth ass piece I liked the flow and how you incorporated a slight introspective vibe to this it kept the piece very very smooooth...nice job my friend

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good drop. you fell off a little at times wit the continous rhyme. you repeated some of the words and the rhyme became less frequent, but you picked up again before d end. good meaning and good topic. lookin forward ta readin more.