Hip Hop Forum

3rd String QB

my stuff is classic like slow jams and cookouts//
with some hood drinks from the cooler I took out//
No cosmetics, don't care how your pack looks//
throwing out wackness like interceptions off your back foot//
five step progressions of unimpressive execution//
no need to stress man, just some ego that your losing//
flow and spit something legit to make the verse work//
out do me? get up early when the birds chirp//
explain your punches, what do those jabs and ducks mean?//
get your poetry some kegel and tighten it up please//
heavyweight wrestler with cruiserweight acrobatics//
with the top turnbuckle dropkick on top of the mattress//
while relaxing in a tee, some flip flops and jeans//
on some baked beans, with the cornbread and mustard greens//


We the elitists, y'all defeated//
right now y'all looking so depleted//
talk crazy and crazy give us a reason//
coming through like villians doing what we're pleasing!//


ENLIGHTEND

we comin on new times yall gassed.. we bustin ya fuel lines.. a five alarm drop
cus my rhymes are non stop... fuck a dropper im a hit yall with a mylicon shot
and im touchin ya souls...with ground breaking sound... like im huntin fa gold
like our keys on the board we hype-and(hyphen) yall under control(crtl) <----NOTHING
yep yall got nothin so take ya Wal-Mart punches and fuckers... roll back
cause yall cant keep ya craft straight... like your rudder poles cracked
did i stutter... yall wack… so step ta the sickest and ya destined fa stitches
im blest an im viscous while yall like a lesbian sitcom just a set full a bitches
truth... u was doomed from da start and, yall ill… na u wont hear that rumor to often
cus yall aint coffin with tumors... but u can end up in a tomb or a coffin...

We the elitists, y'all defeated//
right now y'all looking so depleted//
talk crazy and crazy give us a reason//
coming through like villians doing what we're pleasing!//


- Calico -

I understand why you get no love…Cats sleeping…nahh total snoring.
Drop a Bar and leave your whole world on Fire…entire Global Warming.

Flip your Bars it doesn’t matter Nigga your just worthless,
Taking a Lyrical Nightmare by Me…at least I give you a Purpose.

Im on a Rap Site destroying tour…looks like I have found where I will ~stop at next~,
My hoes ~hot, unless~ it’s your girl,on principle leave on her ~top a mess~.

Niggaz tryna come at me “subliminal” when I know it was their ~best shot~,
I drop a verse and shit on these unsanitary Niggaz…call this my ~Rest Stop~.

I got KnockOut Power…..Please dont come to this fight,
You will wish for a Ray of Hope…then ill turn out the Lights.

Dodging us all over…at least you do it acrobatically,
Calico, A.C., and Enlightend…Bitch pick the Style of Fatality.

We are BallerStatus Elitists…this Illy Shitt is looking ~really Easy to me~,
Whatts ~pretty Easy to see~? With these herbs…~really killing with Ease~.

Cats popping off was a mix of ~deranged/whack~ but to me quickly ~explained that~,
Ill hit you with a quick ‘Buck 50’ and be expecting my ~change back~.

-- Fri Jul 08, 2011 11:05 pm --

links

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/the-s ... ml#p176690
http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/imagi ... ml#p176676

Ok ok, nice intro.

QB, I enjoyed ur laxed approach to the piece. Some kick back shit. Nothing too impressive but u were consistent with ur tactics so that's a bonus. I will admit though, ur approach although good, kinda gave me the feeling that your the odd man out.

Light, ur lines are pretty dope man, that control shit was nice. U came telling you which is good for a first piece, and u came intelligently, but I'm not a fan of ego boosting pieces myself. Dope though.

Calico, impressive man. Nice to see your first drop out of the shoutbox lol. I can appreciate you not only reaping yourself but throwing light in there as well, but I was left with one question.. What about QB? Pretty dope writing style man.


Overall, I'm not a fan of this writing although I do understand why it's done from time to time. Pretty solid altogether except for QBs approach. I'd like to see this progress into a topic collab, see how you guys really mesh together when it comes to a story. Nice drop fellas

[ Post made via iPhone ]

yeah I prob should have clarified A.C. = QB. But thanks for the Feed

str8 fire burning fellas thats wat it is,
i love this collab.. it was dope as fuck..
QB
ENLIGHTEND
CALICO

you all came hard, with dope lines in every verses
i like the structure, and flow.
Respect guys.

[ Post made via Windows Smartphone ]

Nice piece for real, time for the breakdown:

3rd String QB (real smoove, I was enjoying the imagery and the flow)

my stuff is classic like slow jams and cookouts//
with some hood drinks from the cooler I took out//
No cosmetics, don't care how your pack looks//
throwing out wackness like interceptions off your back foot//

I like how you worked imagery from ya handle, and kept it moving.

five step progressions of unimpressive execution//
no need to stress man, just some ego that your losing//
flow and spit something legit to make the verse work//
out do me? get up early when the birds chirp//

The last line here was on, nothing better than truth.

explain your punches, what do those jabs and ducks mean?//
get your poetry some kegel and tighten it up please//

Feeling the kegel drop.

heavyweight wrestler with cruiserweight acrobatics//
with the top turnbuckle dropkick on top of the mattress//
while relaxing in a tee, some flip flops and jeans//
on some baked beans, with the cornbread and mustard greens//


We the elitists, y'all defeated//
right now y'all looking so depleted//
talk crazy and crazy give us a reason//
coming through like villians doing what we're pleasing!//

Overall you brought it smooth but didn't really have any knockouts. As an introduction it did make me want to read more, so that was definitely accomplished.


ENLIGHTEND (turned up the heat)

we comin on new times yall gassed.. we bustin ya fuel lines.. a five alarm drop
cus my rhymes are non stop... fuck a dropper im a hit yall with a mylicon shot
and im touchin ya souls...with ground breaking sound... like im huntin fa gold
like our keys on the board we hype-and(hyphen) yall under control(crtl) <----NOTHING

Gold. It actually took me a minute to catch that under control drop, got me looking at my keyboard, very nice!

yep yall got nothin so take ya Wal-Mart punches and fuckers... roll back
cause yall cant keep ya craft straight... like your rudder poles cracked
did i stutter... yall wack… so step ta the sickest and ya destined fa stitches
im blest an im viscous while yall like a lesbian sitcom just a set full a bitches
truth... u was doomed from da start and, yall ill… na u wont hear that rumor to often
cus yall aint coffin with tumors... but u can end up in a tomb or a coffin...

We the elitists, y'all defeated//
right now y'all looking so depleted//
talk crazy and crazy give us a reason//
coming through like villians doing what we're pleasing!//


The under control and lesbian sitcom drops were the strongest punches IMO, but they were more than enough to carry the verse and bring it to the third portion.

- Calico - (TKO)

I understand why you get no love…Cats sleeping…nahh total snoring.
Drop a Bar and leave your whole world on Fire…entire Global Warming.

ok start...

Flip your Bars it doesn’t matter Nigga your just worthless,
Taking a Lyrical Nightmare by Me…at least I give you a Purpose.

building...

Im on a Rap Site destroying tour…looks like I have found where I will ~stop at next~,
My hoes ~hot, unless~ it’s your girl,on principle leave on her ~top a mess~.

getting hotter

Niggaz tryna come at me “subliminal” when I know it was their ~best shot~,
I drop a verse and shit on these unsanitary Niggaz…call this my ~Rest Stop~.

nice

I got KnockOut Power…..Please dont come to this fight,
You will wish for a Ray of Hope…then ill turn out the Lights.

nice

Dodging us all over…at least you do it acrobatically,
Calico, A.C., and Enlightend…Bitch pick the Style of Fatality.

FINISH HIM!!!!

We are BallerStatus Elitists…this Illy Shitt is looking ~really Easy to me~,
Whatts ~pretty Easy to see~? With these herbs…~really killing with Ease~.

don't hurt em

Cats popping off was a mix of ~deranged/whack~ but to me quickly ~explained that~,
Ill hit you with a quick ‘Buck 50’ and be expecting my ~change back~.


Calico came through with the KO punch as it should be. Overall this piece had a good escalation rate, QB got em hooked, Light worked em with body shots, then Calico came through with the head shots. If I had any other feedback it would be to come with a little more unity regarding the content, but even then you guys did all come with self uplifting bars, so that can be argued as something you did well also.

Good read, I would like to see a tag team battle to see how others would compare.

yo man i liked this alot.. everyone shine.. felt like it was put in order very well.. flow was popping on each... QB and Enlightened shined alot..
was feeling calico as well.. overall a great written collabo

Good Stuff. Glad you guys liked it

Ok Great Job you guys. This was the best collab I've seen here yet, and you've woven the fabric of teamwork together thoroughly. (I'm only going to state the com-memorable part of your drops, that had the most dramatic effect on me)

QB

my stuff is classic like slow jams and cookouts//
with some hood drinks from the cooler I took out//
No cosmetics, don't care how your pack looks//
throwing out wackness like interceptions off your back foot/

Enlightend

we comin on new times yall gassed.. we bustin ya fuel lines.. a five alarm drop
cus my rhymes are non stop... fuck a dropper im a hit yall with a mylicon shot
and im touchin ya souls...with ground breaking sound... like im huntin fa gold
like our keys on the board we hype-and(hyphen) yall under control(crtl)

and

did i stutter... yall wack… so step ta the sickest and ya destined fa stitches
im blest an im viscous while yall like a lesbian sitcom just a set full a bitches

I've seen this before, I just loved how it was executed.

CaliCo

I understand why you get no love…Cats sleeping…nahh total snoring.
Drop a Bar and leave your whole world on Fire…entire Global Warming.

3rd String -

You do well with your multi's, and I think you have the proper type of delivery... But I think the wording in some of your lines throws it off a bit. Also, you dont have alot of wordplay or punchlines... I liked how you approached the piece over-all, but it also seemed like you were on a different page than the other guys... I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it generally, but when you do a piece like this one, you kind of want to stick to the same attitude as the others you are collabing with. Just my opinion bro, keep dropping!


Enlightend -

I enjoyed your approach to this definitely, and liked how you brought some wordplay to the mix and a couple punchlines. The actual delivery/wording of those lines could possibly be worked on somewhat, but I was able to see the direction you were taking each bar. My only real complaint is the periods you had throughout your verse. All of these.... made the flow kind of choppy for me in some areas. Just pointing a couple things out. Over-all, I really liked the verse. Good job.


Calico -

I really have to say that being your own hype man kind of took away from this a little bit. I can understand on a track where you would have adlibs and stuff, but here it seemed to break your bars up instead of actually go WITH them. I like how you incorporated some wordplay, and I can tell you are really ging for the punchlines in this one, but some of them didnt really connect for me. Also, some of your multi's seem forced. Let me give you an example... ""Cats popping off was a mix of ~deranged/whack~ but to me quickly ~explained that~,Ill hit you with a quick ‘Buck 50’ and be expecting my ~change back~."" In this bar you use the phrase dranged/whack... But in all honesty, if someone was having everyday conversation, they would never word the phrase like this... You want it to come out almost like you're having a conversation with someone, you feel me? And bars like this one can take away from your verse, because it doesn't really seem like you were getting creative with it at all - ""We are BallerStatus Elitists…this Illy Shitt is looking ~really Easy to me~,
Whatts ~pretty Easy to see~? With these herbs…~really killing with Ease~."" - It's almost like you are just stating your opinion, and that's that. No wordplay tied in, no punchline, just you making a statement.


Over-all, this was nicely done for a first crew collab on the site, and I'm looking forward to seeing more from you guys in the future. If you feel like I was picking apart your verse, it's because I AM! Hopefully the feedback I've given has helped someone in some manner. Thanks for dropping the piece Elitists, and Welcome to Illest.