Hip Hop Forum

okay, imma spit to this
more twisted than licorice,
im lost in the mist like gorillas,
i need cheese like tortillas tryna b a quesadilla,
off this pure dope
no fillins,
turn u so called animals into road killins,
true villians, no feelins at the moment
'cept own it,
harborin these skills now its time to expose em,
fatherin the real
raisin it
prayin for a well timed explosion,
i need to blow up
ask anyone who knows him,
im potent,
fear no opponent
say u grindin?
i dont feel your components..
now im not sayin im chosen,
but im sayin you should notice,
im sicker than the 7 plauges,
this first leg jus the locust,
suddenly im focused,
imma mantis after cannibus,
leave yah carapace broken


http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/the-l ... ml#p176328
http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/fathe ... ml#p176329

hmm this is aight my du...i know ya freein so ill say this
is decent...i know your elevatin cuz your concepts are a lil clearer....

for real honest CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM tho..
i'd say try comin up wid a concept..wich would be your hook..then see how many bars you can write that completely coincide with that concept...and make all your lines in some shape or form match it..but it would be considered a hard write..honestly thats the only way you'll know your TRU potential...

I agree wit tre bro, it is a bit short but ur on a steady track. Stay up n keep elevating. Cool multis in this too. Struggled with the flow in some parts but hey, this isnt too bad man. 1

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