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TIME TICKS

Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:34 am
by COMPUTERCHIPS
As the time ticks my mind splits between good & evil
i dig thru all the signs tryna find whats in the middle
shit is getting lethal like injections destined from a needle
that drug ive never touched or tested but i done snorted kilos
way before i got arrested and cuffed by my P.O
I could afford a meal, now i gotta go to court according to the deal
they got me paying bills, these thieves stealing cheese shits unreal
and ill never be rat sitting fat, in the streets i keep it real
watch your back thru ur rearview, they attack and try to kill you
try to clear you outta space, out there no one hears you
but someones always watching, go check in the mirror
the eye of the beholder, the destroyer of your fears
the story of your life, its been going on for years
its time to make it right, before the time all dissappears
it can only happen now, cuz tomorrows never here
follow what your after, go seperate from your peers
your destined for your dreams, but only if your serious.

Re: TIME TICKS

Posted: Fri Jul 01, 2011 1:01 am
by Alvin
i know you fed two ther pieces because i watched it happen, but next time please copy and paste the links into your post so i dont assume you didnt follow the rules. Any how;

shit is getting lethal like injections destined from a needle
To me this sounds odd, because injections already come from needles, so it reads in a redundant fashion.

the line that follows, about the drugs, kinda threw me off, I could'nt quite find any correlation in thought process, kinda like jumping from one thing to another with no pathway.

they got me paying bills, these thieves stealing cheese shits unreal
Although "cheese" completes an internal rhyme, using the word cheese to substitute money ir rather cheesy lol.
follow what your after, go seperate from your peers
your destined for your dreams, but only if your serious.
I enjoyed the closer, but to be honest, I can not find a way to rhyme PEERS and SERIOUS in any form or accent.


Altogether enjoyable, a couple edges that need to be refined, but not bad Mr. Chips. Keep dropping.

Re: TIME TICKS

Posted: Fri Jul 01, 2011 1:06 am
by Defiance
yeah man fuck the system!!

im trapped in that same cycle... PRobation, fines and fees fucking sucks huh

but chea i liked it man.. more or less cause i can relate to it in a major way

good flow man keep it up