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The Beginning (Feedback Please)

Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2011 2:36 am
by 2ill15
http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/makin ... ml#p175118
http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/the-t ... ml#p175120



My first written here.

On the mic I am a riot like Toronto,
integral to the game’s survival, call me Squanto
Flow too original to be leased, not a condo
had to take a test for ‘roids because I’ve got a strong flow.
A young rapper, the voice of a generation,
a new king in the makin’ just waitin’ for coronation
Rhyme’s Illmatic but to Nas there’s no relation,
using my imagination for lyrical cultivation
Dominating those complaining,
attaining success and gaining respect
Doper than uncontrolled substances, Inspectah Deck
Though I was never told to protect my neck, or sweat the tech
I’m still keeping the rest in check, left for (fuh) dead
The reason mc’s wet the bed, I’ll put my best ahead
Rappers ingest the lead, because my rhymes are heavy metals
I spit hot like the devil and stay higher than treble
The adolescent that’s besting (best-in) some of the best in
The business with his aggression, caressing the pen to paper
‘til haters think he’s a blessing.

Squanto- Without him the Pilgrims would have starved
Toronto-City in Canada where people rioted over the Stanley Cup
Uncontrolled Substance- Inspectah Deck's first album, one of my favorites
Sweat the tech- Reference to Rakim
Treble-High end sound in recordings

Re: The Beginning (Feedback Please)

Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2011 8:25 am
by Defiance
yeah man this was str8, liked the use of multis and name drops.. solid meta4s continuous flow. nice drop

welcome to illest

Re: The Beginning (Feedback Please)

Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2011 8:26 am
by 2ill15
Added my feedback.

Thanks a lot man, I'll keep doing my best.

Re: The Beginning (Feedback Please)

Posted: Tue Jun 21, 2011 8:56 am
by Arcane
very nice drop man. Flow was present, i like yuor style. i feel like you could have smoothened out the delivery abit here and there but other then that. this is a vicious one man. keep at it