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Ventilating

Posted: Mon Jun 20, 2011 8:40 am
by MonuMental
Ventilating, plate on the table, my dinner's waiting,
Scintillating, feeling my eyes raping the nickel plating,
Incubating rage in the place of hated and bitter raving,
If fate's in my way, I'm saving my face and dropping casings,
Cursing occasions that worsen my hate, a sour cadence,
Birthing creations from lyrics that man my battle stations,
Turning the tables in mirror matches with fallen fables,
Burning in ashes of mangled tangles of falling angels,
Choking and strangled I dangle over the threshold,
Of deaths goals pressed whole into a depressed mold,
Headstones, odes to generations of dead souls,
Who let those that embittered them suffer death throes,
Waking up at the table, now my bread's cold,
Lights off, sunshine blends fuller with dust motes,
Soul's old, my blood lends color to crushed hopes,
Flows on, away from my final clutter of brush strokes.
http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/seizi ... 22874.html

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/feedb ... 22875.html

Re: Ventilating

Posted: Mon Jun 20, 2011 9:18 am
by Defiance
haha this shit burned the page man.. str8 fieyar.. no negative feed.. like the scheme and the jump off rhyming you used.. really feeling this... damn we like the heavyweights in the written world dogg... keep it up

-- Sun Jun 19, 2011 4:18 pm --

haha this shit burned the page man.. str8 fieyar.. no negative feed.. like the scheme and the jump off rhyming you used.. really feeling this... damn we like the heavyweights in the written world dogg... keep it up

Re: Ventilating

Posted: Mon Jun 20, 2011 9:25 am
by MonuMental
Already, bruh!! Lol that has a ring to it. Thanks for the feed.

Re: Ventilating

Posted: Mon Jun 20, 2011 9:48 am
by Kause mc
hey bro this was a GREAT read! not only did u hav the multis the punches the little wordplay... shit, this has it all

fav lines

Choking and strangled I dangle over the threshold,
Of deaths goals pressed whole into a depressed mold,

Re: Ventilating

Posted: Mon Jun 20, 2011 11:19 am
by Kulture
Shit nice flow, rhyming everything man loved it lol no advice I could give you here, keep them coming. :D

Re: Ventilating

Posted: Mon Jun 20, 2011 11:26 am
by MonuMental
Appreciate the feed, man.