Hip Hop Forum

Ok I'm still a n00b at this, but anyways heres something I wrote a lil while ago. I'm not sure why I dislike 50 cent, just never liked him

You got the bling bling,
where'd you got them?
Flea market in Bejing?
Now, that's priceless.
What about your rhymes,
got 'em off Cypress Hill?
He's got the flow,
such a shame that you never will.
It's my burger,
you're the pickles that I pick off
You're worth less
than a copyrighted rip off
You couldn't touch the sky
even if you had wings
Grab anything shiny,
like you're lord of the ring
See you trying to fly high,
but fail so bad
It's like the day you had sex
with a girl named Brad
Hey, I don't like your dad,
he's not so hot
He's got really big boobs,
but his thong is not
Just back off and run,
don't wanna hear you vent
I'm a dollar, what are you?
You're 50 cent.
Crush pills that you snort
like its LSD
but you're still coming short
like an amputee.
Laugh at me?
I know I look like shit
but I'm not the one stuck inside a worn out clit


Opinions and advice appreciated!

lmao @ ...

"Hey, I don't like your dad,
he's not so hot
He's got really big boobs,
but his thong is not"


that's all im gonna say, lol keep droppin, i was entertained

This was funny as shit

Make your bars longer thats all i can say and throw some mulities or punches in there 2

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shoulda added a fuck you at the end...and said something that makes you better

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This was an ok drop, simple but effective to a certain extent. Barz were too short but flow was ok I guess, keep droppin man
peace

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^^ R U FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?! stop gassing this piece of shit up! this was fucking awful! stop writing bro... this wasnt good at all!

Fucking harsh Scott

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I dnt TOTTALLY agree with big disses like this. Maybe this one shoulda been kept to urself bro i mean, its 50... The way i see it if ur gonna diss a big name like that, record it and try n get it heard. Its not tooo bad but honestly if i dissed sum1 so big id make it so fuckin hot nobody would touch it. If 50 really red this would u b happy wit it? Anyways thats my opinion

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uhhmm yeah def step ya game up..da scheme was not good..alot of da rhymes were pretty simple...it's obvious
that we dont really wanna chase you away by poopin on ya work here..but tbh i've seen waay better written pieces get ripped to shreds by the feeders so ..work on it a lil more .. cant wait 2 see ya progress..

Haha this was some funny shit, for many reasons...LMAO That's all I can say. Um...keep writing?