Hip Hop Forum

It's been 8 months since I wrote.

I made a few mistakes I'll admit it
doesn't mean you have to get this relationship twisted
and throw me under the bus like a ticket
I lied about one giant thing, and was crushed that I did it
it wasn't malicious, but you gave me so much trust
so I rushed just to visit and showed you love but you missed it
it wasn't nothing specific I had lust every minute
tears came to my eyes because I was fucking with something terrific
when running my legs got numb, my stomach and lungs stung
I swung my fist, I swear to God I was so pissed
because I didn't kiss your lips with the passion
and I was projecting in this sick significant fashion
for the rest of the trip you were just missing in action
I just needed some practice, maybe a tip as we were hitting the mattress
I just wasn't as swift as I wished and imagined
I can still picture us sitting relaxing
listening and laughing, it's a risk that I'm asking
but isn't it a bigger risk, to not have the bliss that we captured
from the onset, I knew this wasn't a fling or a flick
listening to you sing, it was such a beautiful thing like an instrument
playing over and over, lingering sober
I wanted to bring you closer before we hit the brink of abyss
tried to keep composure, but was overdramatic
I was so socially static that it made me close to erratic
we were so romantic and close, it was so soulful and classic
I just hope you know that it can be both
love is about growth, most of its magic, don't you know, that we had it?
if you let me go, from a couple moments of sadness
I suppose that I'll know, but if we could change roles, I'd just stroll to your address
hold you real close, and show you my madness
was really not a loss of control, but a lot of emotional baggage
clothed in a robe that had to slowly unfold
in front of your eyes, I was naked exposed
I dug a grave to my soul and gave you the rose
the way that you basically froze made me explode
I'm not fucking crazy, you just amazed me, every day, especially the last few
even if we aren't together, I'm better now and lucky to have you

damn plex. i see you been writin up a storm. this is deep man. you had some fuckin killer lines and rhyme schemes brotha. only reason i read and replied to this is cus i knew it was gonna be dope.

I just wasn't as swift as I wished and imagined
I can still picture us sitting relaxing
listening and laughing, it's a risk that I'm asking
but isn't it a bigger risk, to not have the bliss that we captured


^^^this shit was off the hook man. i can tell whatever you went through, stuck with you pretty good. i guess the hardest times we go through sometimes bring out the best in us. dope shit plex

This is really well done. Emotion is captured, metaphors are there, some dope ass similies, flow is on fucking point with some sick multi's... One of the best pieces I've read in awhile man. Possibly a piece of the year nomination!?! I know you never have time to read any of my shit anymore or vote on one of my battles, but thought I would give this a read and leave some feed, and glad I did. Nice drop fam. One.

ayo great piece..i like how you kept the same vowel scheme for most of the script..deep concept alot of people can relate..good shyt

it wasn't malicious, but you gave me so much trust
so I rushed just to visit and showed you love but you missed it
it wasn't nothing specific I had lust every minute
tears came to my eyes because I was fucking with something terrific

^^^
i liked this part..didnt expect that last bar in that way..coo shit plex...

this was pretty legit plex...a nice authentic drop evoked through emotion...nothing else to say man...this was pretty good

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

Nothing bad about it. The rhyme scheme was dope and the emotion was raw. is this a real situation for you? And if so, did she read this?

Yes to both questions.

And sorry about some of the grammatical issues. I just went with the emotion.

I will make sure to leave feedback and edit the piece so it flows perfect in all spots.

Damn. This was fuckin ill. Its rare to see you write something like this (for me, anyways, maybe you have in the past, i dunno). The rhyme schemes were terrific, the emotion and imagery were stellar. This is probably one of my favorite pieces of yours just because it hits so close to home with me. You've steaked your claim, well done, sir.

wow... 10/10, the imagery was ridiculous, it's almost like you're saying everything without directly saying it lol, by far my favorite piece from you and not because of the amazing flow and rhymescheme of it all, but because it actually tells a story and has such power behind it, great fucking job, (off topic... we need to collaborate on some heavy shit)

I truly am humbled by the feedback.

The piece took about 15 minutes to write, but I guess I had it all in my soul.

Like, I look at it, as my first piece I've wrote in 8 months actually, but really, the truest shit I ever spoke, even with the flaws.

15 minutes? go suck a dick bitch!

lol at truest shit you ever "spoke" weres the audio?? should be truest shit you ever "wrote"

put besides that deepness reincarnated in complexities shit here. liked it man.. nuff said

DEFINETLY feelin this!
smooth flow, the over all message was very clearly designed,
emotion was easy to feel, i liked the word choice here and there also!
but damn man it's deep! i like it alot!

Who said I haven't spoke it.

And yes Ekoms, ask Double FL, I typed most of it in her instant message window.

Nice piece plex it's been 8 months & u still ain't lost it good 2 see dat man. Da pieces I've read 4rm u r dope 2 me I like dis 1 in particular tho I felt the emotion in dis piece felt like I could relate as well. The whole piece was nicely put 2gether, rhyme scheme was on point & flow was krazy on dis. Koms is right on given dis pieace a 10/10 I hope u drop more dis was worth the read dope lines on dis.

I wanted to bring you closer before we hit the brink of abyss
tried to keep composure, but was overdramatic
I was so socially static that it made me close to erratic
we were so romantic and close, it was so soulful and classic
I just hope you know that it can be both
love is about growth, most of its magic, don't you know, that we had it?
^^ deep