Hip Hop Forum

ayo it's the Konvict audibles, best press up on the articles/
flow so tropicle, so come test the vicious arsenal/
talent made this verse nominal, you running? it's all optional/
I put up major obstacles, but you living is NOT possible/
I rated top in defiance, created the number one allience/
fused the chemicals with my lyrical science/
it's the spiritual giant, you should invest in complience/
or get the flavor of all the wordplay and the neck splitting appliance/
give up the gimmicks, drift to my words and defy the laws of physics/
no love for critics, the last thing my enemies see is hospital clinics/
my bars are what your mouth mimicks, hands down one of the sickest/
the illest, has your head rolling to the vibe of the infected lyrics/
keep approaching breathlessly, body lost up in the density/
the verbal bullets hit centrally, you falling by my hands is raw destiny/
now i'm having trouble with the deputy, so I readied the weaponry/
aimed at his head steadily, and blasted till I changed his basic pedigree/

Another dope drop arc. Your shit just gets better- keep at it bro

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

word up dude! haha thanks

Some bars were stretched a bit, and you used the word "nominal" in the wrong context...You got a sick fucking flow and you got a cool way of puttin shit, but use your words in the right context and the flow would be solid as a rock.

word? alright kool good looks on catching that bro

Not much else to say about this that hasn't been said,
"now i'm having trouble with the deputy, so I readied the weaponry/
aimed at his head steadily, and blasted till I changed his basic pedigree/"

Sick ending bar, flow is immaculate, dope dope dope, all I gotta say....

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

much apprieciated haha

Just my opinion - Take No Hate - This is Just constructive critism

1st off... Good drop - I see your vocabulary is not in issue. That was the first thing I noticed, you have the words.

2nd.... For this type of drop - I'd expect more wordplay/wittier lines' and better execution
Example:
talent made this verse nominal, you running? it's all optional/
I put up major obstacles, but you living is NOT possible/
could have been switched and wrote like this
I put up major obstacles, but you living is NOT possible/
I De'feet my enemies, so you running? it's NOT optional/

^^Flows in a lot better with the piece cuz of the wordplay "Go ahead squeeze what i wrote in its place


3rd... Bars are sometimes forced, just structure is a little messed up which can make the bars seemed stretched.. to find a good flow you need to count syllables....


4th.... Since you have the words, i would like for you to use them in a more creative way - i see a lot of potential here



Hopefully you dont take this as hate, just trying to help you elevate bro--- you have a good vocab, and that shouldn't go to waste - work on flow/creativity/ and see where that takes you on your next piece

hey not at all man. completely understood. thx for the feedback

good one bro

thx