Hip Hop Forum

heres a taste of the lyrical collection, the spiritual obsession/
knowledge sugests you invest in physicle protection/
it's a definit aggression, every verse is a explosive confession/
so might i mention venomous rhymes are the corrosive projection/
the show is something you should go to see, life is something you should owe to me/
the sick notery was inscribed since i was in my mothers ovaries/
i spit this flow so soberly, keep counting like a religious rosary/
love is what they show to me a rapper representing the paki over seas/
come face the elite, every bar absurd and simply discrete/
i repeat another rappers dead and now my diaries complete/
your flow is starting to deplete, your falling from the heat/
hit the street i guess these phony rappers are finally admitting defeat/
i'll crisp your skin into leather, your as soft as pillow feathers/
so your ricocheting of my fists in the violent and storming weather/
you'll never be as clever, i got a magical mandible so your feeling pressure/
but damn i got you headless just by holding the scepter and spitting this lecture/

Man this was sicccckkkk, loadsa excellent lines, counting rosaries was my favourite. The flow was on point, I lost myself as I was Reading it, good good shit, keep em coming bro, u have massive potential.

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baha damn Thank you dude. i will be suer to comeback stronger every time

good flow ,keep on keeping it on!

thanks, will do

This was niiiice, the multi's were off the chain
and the flow of it seemed to go together nicely
seems like you were on some of that Pun shit for a moment
really nice work though...can't wait to see more from you
keep writing!

word up dude. and ima keep it coming XD

i like the flow bro..keep it up..hope to see you in that battle forum

word up thanks

this is the first shit i ever read on here....
it was fuckin dope man
flow was on point/ multies bring out the structure
overall good shit man keep @ it.

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word up thanks ma dude!

word up
thx i ll keep that in mind

-- Thu May 26, 2011 10:01 pm --

i forgot to seperate the line where the flow of it kinda dwindles. but its all good

Yezzir wrote:This was a pretty dope drop over all. You brought some pretty dope concepts. Nothing outstanding though. It seemed to fall off around the second half of the piece/verse. Wish ya would've stayed consistent throughout the entire drop. If ya did this piece would've been a killer.


heres a taste of the lyrical collection, the spiritual obsession/
knowledge sugests you invest in physicle protection/
it's a definit aggression, every verse is a explosive confession/
so might i mention venomous rhymes are the corrosive projection/
the show is something you should go to see, life is something you should owe to me/
the sick notery was inscribed since i was in my mothers ovaries/
i spit this flow so soberly, keep counting like a religious rosary/

^^
Ya deffo killed these here opening bars. I was like ohh shit. This is gonna be a killer verse. Then ya kinda fell off like I said.

Overall t his was a pretty dope drop. You've showed that ya got potential just stay with it. Next time just try to stay a little more consistent.

he hit it on the button...

I enjoyed this better than the other one.... flow was more consistent.. you still are showing strong vocab

I enjoyed this - dope drop... I'd give more feed but Yezzir nailed it to the tee