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Ok'
Happy 420 Go Smoke More So I Can Get More Money
Hoes Stunning Fo’s Gunnin While I Stunt Wit 4 Bunnys
N They Suck Like Lipo.. Now They Got No Tummys
But How U Suck Worst.. Go Get Pimp’d U Slow Dummy
See.. Noobies So Funny N These Pros R So Yummy
Dope Quote Fiend.. Flow Mix’d Wit Coke Like Cold Rummy
If U Spit Fire I’ll Either Eat Tha Ether Like I Was Stutterin
Or Im Crushin Fire About To Light It Up..Blunt In Hand
I Spit Dope So Close To Eye Rock Iran Was Buttin In
Im Sky High.. Cant Reach These Heights Like U Was Drummin Em
Disses Connect Wit Power So I Don’t Write I Jus Plug Em In
N Put Electric Drops In Tha Sky.. Lightnin N Thunderin
Turnin Fighters To Clowns.. Made Tyson Start Jugglin
See.. I Pity Foes N Run Thru Lines Like Lindsey Nose
Your A Game But Jus One I Aint Playin Wit.. Sixty Fo'
All Aboard On Tha Board I Skills It.. No Chalk
Im Ill Sick.. Tha Pox.. U Get Pop'd N Kill'd Quick.. Ciroc
Got You Tippin.. T.I.. Told You Imma Martian Like G.I. (Marchin)
Mystery Bullets.. You Could Catch Ah' Case Like P.I.
Damn Sellin Grams N Fillin Nicks Like A Melo Fan
And Makin Sure Ya Text Is History.. Telegrams




Boi'

Here's some feed for you...


Happy 420 Go Smoke More So I Can Get More Money
Hoes Stunning Fo’s Gunnin While I Stunt Wit 4 Bunnys

First line has more in it twice. Should try to stray from that. I see you're throwing multi's around so that's cool.

N They Suck Like Lipo.. Now They Got No Tummys
But How U Suck Worst.. Go Get Pimp’d U Slow Dummy

First line had me laughing a bit. Used the word suck twice in this bar.

See.. Noobies So Funny N These Pros R So Yummy
Dope Quote Fiend.. Flow Mix’d Wit Coke Like Cold Rummy

Cold Rummy? Thats a stretch man...

If U Spit Fire I’ll Either Eat Tha Ether Like I Was Stutterin
Or Im Crushin Fire About To Light It Up..Blunt In Hand

This bar doesnt really make much sense to me, and your flow seems to switch up at a weird spot.

I Spit Dope So Close To Eye Rock Iran Was Buttin In
Im Sky High.. Cant Reach These Heights Like U Was Drummin Em

I saw the Iraq/Iran stuff. Its cool to see some wordplay thrown into topical stuff. This made absolutely no sense to me though... Cant reach those heights like you was drummin em? LIKE? How are those two related at all, yet you use like to clearly try to relate them... Maybe Im missing something, but really, its not making sense to me.

Disses Connect Wit Power So I Don’t Write I Jus Plug Em In
N Put Electric Drops In Tha Sky.. Lightnin N Thunderin

This is okay, but it seems you are relating things in a way that's coming off wrong... Which really means you should try to re-word stuff so your delivery of things come across better.

Turnin Fighters To Clowns.. Made Tyson Start Jugglin
See.. I Pity Foes N Run Thru Lines Like Lindsey Nose

Once again, the flow seems to switch up at an odd moment.

Your A Game But Jus One I Aint Playin Wit.. Sixty Fo'
All Aboard On Tha Board I Skills It.. No Chalk

And again...

Im Ill Sick.. Tha Pox.. U Get Pop'd N Kill'd Quick.. Ciroc
Got You Tippin.. T.I.. Told You Imma Martian Like G.I. (Marchin)

And again...

Mystery Bullets.. You Could Catch Ah' Case Like P.I.
Damn Sellin Grams N Fillin Nicks Like A Melo Fan
And Makin Sure Ya Text Is History.. Telegrams

Okay, here's an overall evaluation... I like the ideas and concepts for most of your worplday. The deliver on some of them could be re-worded to be more effective. Also, you shouldn't lose focus of the 'bar = two lines' so it doesnt seem like your flow is being thrown off in some spots. You have some decent punchlines as well, but those could also be re-worded to have a btter delivery with them. You have alot of talent, no doubt about it, and I hope to see you keep pushing to become a better writer. Nice drop man, keep them coming. One.