Hip Hop Forum

Some lyrics to a song I'm working on, looking for feedback on how to improve this verse.

I get to clackin when its time for action, Pull dat hammer back and blast em/
Lyrical assassin see me, Puff puff passin/

Any word you throw in, Bet I match them/
I ain't never been the man, I been the man to get shit crackin/

I be lashin out at captains, Flow in order ain't my caption/
A fraction of word spin, just a sample of greatness renditionin/

I'm allowed to win, Only cause without me, I don't see shit else happenin/
It's my sentences, That set the sentimental census in/

I'm too cold to spit, Flow so wet it pisses hits/
Any more, Analogies, that I should add to this?/

I resist the urge to coexist, With any pacifist, my passive fists pass licks/
The hardest, to Anybody passin this/

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Cool Peice Bro

Flow was Pretty Sweet.. Vocab Couldve Been Better In Some Spots Tho..

U Had Some Simple Punchelines But Add'd To Tha Verse So They Wasnt Bad.

This Was Ok For Audio Wit Tha Quick lines and Constant Multies Thrown In But Couldve Add'd More Spizzaz.. More Umph More LoL Lines To Make It A Hot Verse .... Text Or Audio


Aiight Bro


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Peace.

Hey man its a piece id really like to hear on a beat, cant wait to hear it. Lookin good

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

like it dude flow was working for you, sounds like a fast tempo beat when i read it into flow..

liking the quickfire words man enjoyed the read

I really liked the multis in this piece ... the flow was also niceee... cant wait to liaten to this on audio

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]