Hip Hop Forum

(I'm taking criticism, so fire away if you see anything you want to bring up, plz.)

when they say my writtens are worth a couple mona lisas,
jellies show their true colors, becoming fiesty divas,
after my works done, i get to sanatizing,
because theres hidden dirt inside things tantalizing,
you should see how i eat MCs, i get ferocious,
how are you so good already? im just precocious,
your're a fan of things iridescent like an opal,
while you wouldn't touch a fly, i have zero enemies total,
try to stop me like a car, ill fix my motor,
whats that smell? not the car, a different foul odor,
its not your house anymore, you're slipping on your mortgage,
i took it and reversed the damage, plus the shortage,
im tired of fighting rap dancers, i want sedition,
you get mad every time i ask whats competition,
detectives were called to the scene, not homicidal,
but i wouldn't ask how they were greeted on arrival,
you only get the opportunity to challenge me once,
if you take the risk and lose, to the corner you dunce,
im gonna end this, even though more rhymes are sought,
ill keep you waiting, cause future rhymes cant be bought.

Could use some double rhymes. For me, it doesn't seem to rhyme that good. May just be me though.

alright thanks.

Overall pretty fly..good vocabulary. Best advice I can give is just keep elevating all aspects of your drops

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

You need to work out the kinks, and you will. Just kee watching and writing. I like the idea, though.

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

yeah i agree, it is what it is, but shit there was some good shit in there, and i got the flow, just a lil tweaking here and there and you got something

thanks for feeding my shit

Appreciate it.