Hip Hop Forum

5-8 bars (10-16 lines)48 hour due date...no flips or rebuttles.....please judge on punches,personals,wordplay,flow.....good luck bro....

My offering.

Watch out grimm cause death is commin round the corner,

Your name faker than rickie bobbys coma,

Killustrators kill nothing but they dampen successes odor,

The only grim thing is the ending of you and all your label,

I see you spelled your name with two M's you MUST be in MENTAL Dis-order,

You lyk 30 years old with a buzz big as baby boners,

The size of your career just can't be read upon my sonar,

The first round I gave you now its over,

Time for griMM the MISTAKE from MICHIGAN to die by the hands of the colder!

I'll drag your whole state to Minnesotas plate,

Cook you up with asbestos and soda,

Then spit out everything you stand for,

And trample the rest of the competition wearing this verse for you as an example!

I do this shit with my eyes closed,

My only goal by battling you was to put deaths head on my mantle,

Now that its over and I'm done my prize is you spittin spiteful.

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Michigan vs Minnesota..A wolverine vs a gopher?(HA!)
This cat from the "70's" has more "GRACE" then "TOPHER".
You,me,and a gun?Well "THREE'S COMPANY"..."JACK ROPER."
You're mom's a hooker and your dad's a doper.
Your sister's a whore,Ganarea,Aids,and Syphallis.
I just prey your inbread ass catches her sickness-quick.
Putting your tiny dick-in-her-clit? You piece of shit!!
And when she's on the rag grandma gets some prick.
What a close knit family...Back-wood bumpkins.
I'll crack his skull "TODAY" like I'm "SMASHING PUMPKINS"
Malik's got a youtube page with five whole views...
While I'm a veteran that's paid my live-show-dues.
Like a half round of "golf" my "nine holes you".
My "iron" "chips shots" when I'm "playing thru".
Malik's physique is petite..Like 7 days he's "week" (weak)
He's a file that's obselete so I'll alt F delete.

i feel like m33k91 took it, grimm had multis in every line but he tryed to hard ..so it turned into a bad sentence a couple of times ..and plus m33k91's rap made me laugh more
*with a buzz as big as a baby boner* that made me laugh

M33K
Watch out grimm cause death is commin round the corner,
Your name faker than rickie bobbys coma
SIKK OPEN
Killustrators kill nothing but they dampen successes odor,
The only grim thing is the ending of you and all your label,
oKAY...
I see you spelled your name with two M's you MUST be in MENTAL Dis-order,
You lyk 30 years old with a buzz big as baby boners,
i WAS BORN WITH A BIG PENIS... JK. MEDIOCRE PUNCH.
The size of your career just can't be read upon my sonar,
The first round I gave you now its over
FILLER
Time for griMM the MISTAKE from MICHIGAN to die by the hands of the colder!
I'll drag your whole state to Minnesotas plate,
Cook you up with asbestos and soda,
Then spit out everything you stand for,
And trample the rest of the competition wearing this verse for you as an example!
HAHA GOOD SHIT
I do this shit with my eyes closed,
My only goal by battling you was to put deaths head on my mantle,
Now that its over and I'm done my prize is you spittin spiteful.
wEAK FINISHER...

over all prety good verse

Grimm

Michigan vs Minnesota..A wolverine vs a gopher?(HA!)
This cat from the "70's" has more "GRACE" then "TOPHER".
since its not feeding, first line was dope... second not so hot
You,me,and a gun?Well "THREE'S COMPANY"..."JACK ROPER."
You're mom's a hooker and your dad's a doper.
once again.. first line good, second not so much
Your sister's a whore,Ganarea,Aids,and Syphallis.
I just prey your inbread ass catches her sickness-quick.
Putting your tiny dick-in-her-clit? You piece of shit!!
And when she's on the rag grandma gets some prick.
That who area was clownin
What a close knit family...Back-wood bumpkins.
I'll crack his skull "TODAY" like I'm "SMASHING PUMPKINS"
that seemed like you were trying to hard to use the smashinpumpkins line
Malik's got a youtube page with five whole views...
While I'm a veteran that's paid my live-show-dues.
decent
Like a half round of "golf" my "nine holes you".
My "iron" "chips shots" when I'm "playing thru".
clever
Malik's physique is petite..Like 7 days he's "week" (weak)
He's a file that's obselete so I'll alt F delete.
botht those lines are fucking old...

Flow: Grimm
Punches: M33k
Multies: Grimm
Enjoyment: M33K
Personals: M33k.

Over All It was a pretty good battle in my eyes but i feel m33k hit it a little bit harder...

VOTE M33K

just to verify pest...i've been making plays on minnesota against him since our first battle...it was not a flip cause i don't read the other verse first.....I researched him.....We need the criteria voted on...flow,wordplay,personals,punches,,thanks

iight... well shit lemme redo this then... not tryna piss you off.

if you're redoing it pest..what's your vote?

^^ Fixed it.

M33K91:
I tried breaking down your verse but your shit's all over the place. Some bars didn't even rhyme. The structure of your verse gave it a choppy flow, plus as stated before, some lines didn't rhyme. There were bars that didn't even have a punchline. also, try to connect your second line with what you put down on your first; it makes for a better punchline. Don't really know what else to say, but practice makes perfect. Separate each bar(2 lines) for better structure, it'll make your verse much easier to read and catch a flow to.

Grimm:
You came with a way better flow, wordplay, and punchlines, though some were still universal and basic. Stay away from universal punchlines and lines like these: "You're mom's a hooker and your dad's a doper."; those are too basic and played. I felt that some of your bars seemed backwards, with the punch first and what should have been the set up, second. Overall, you did a better job with your battle verse IMO.

Both still need a lot of practice...

Anyways...

MVGT: Grimm

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Thanks for the feedback, that's you grimm.

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it's all good m33 up 2-1 so far

Uppin for votes

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Pretty solid battle, but I def. enjoyed Grimms verse better, Grimm won in every category except for creativity for me.
MVGT: Grimm

2-2

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