Hip Hop Forum

1st time post of a sloppy flow I wrote on the greyhound, feedback iz the shit by the way.
not da greatest but please don't say my shits wack.... I need sumkind of self esteem,

Wake up in da mornin,
Stretchin yawnin packin dro in,
Wipin drool nd see who's callin,
Sexi stacy on da phone nd,
Got to talkin bout sum problems,
Convo all about her doctor nd da father of her daughter,
Whipin swirvin scrapin curves nd,
Swooped up stacy now they smokin,
Words is slurrin stacy moanin,
Beat dat pussy den its over,
Hit da club nd grab sum numbers,
Hit da homies Remy pourin,
J's of purp he's hood suburban,
Born in cali,
Menace learned him,
Minnesota to dem lame 1s
Shout out to da M-town cuzzins,
Not a G but he will burn em,
Modest talk but bars he murk em,
No lost love but no love finds him,
Girls be dyin tryna find him,
Juzz to see how he be grindin,
Round and round yes he unwinds em,
Hit em once nd have em cryin,
Eat dat cat cuz dick he's lackin,
Na I'm lyin he be mackin,
I mean gamin wait no charmin,
Yes he's charmin,
Wit sum options,
Ladies love to juzz walk by him,
Pass da blunt cuz reesy rollin,
Halfrican ya dats my ace nd,
Gotta problem den hell solve em,
Diz verse seemin lyk a long 1,
Flow is mellow allec Baldwin,
Swag is dumb yes 50 tyson
You go crazy he goes bacon,
Ears to speakers he will bite dem,
Laugh out loudin wat da fuckin,
Shake his head at so called ballin,
Drop da n bomb niggaz noddin,
Hot shit droppin lyk a comet,
Facebook lyks nd nasty comments,
Spittin sick he needs a call-in,
Chips is all in hits is callin,
Why da fuck waz diz 3rd person?
I don't kno but Imma end it,
Hook is creepin somewhere lurkin,
And I'm scared cuz it mite find him.

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

yo for how simple this shyt was it was flowing like a mofo. shit was like 2 verses dogg. was feeling tho, good shit man.. liking the shorter bars, i always thought they hold more prevalence in an audio stand point. good shyt man.

It flowed great. but that one was basic, but the flow keeps it real.