Hip Hop Forum

This is just a beginning flow tell me what you guys think! I just started rapping so any sort of criticism is appreciated.



write the words on this page dismantle the rage
feel the call of the stage
slip fall and disengage
rip the walls of the cage
falling into the mist swallowed by the abyss
is this bliss or just a way to dismiss
the fact that im in this furnace stuck to furnish
these walls till i burn this skin off my corpse is
rotted and wilting i cant keep pretending that quilting
the pieces of flesh back on is helping

Well I have no real comment
besides it should be longer
focus on a sole idea, and extend on lyrics
although I did like the furnish, furnace line
nicely done...showin' a lil' skill
keep writin'