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Liddle Freak (no hoe here)
Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2011 4:01 pm
by Lil Meika
you want sum head?// git in dha bed// ill lick and suck all upon it// nikkas see muh pussy tellin me to jump on iht// wes makin love betta den bonni && clyde// git ready fa a wild ride//after i suck him fa a while// i git on all 4s prepare fa doggy style// he told me im more den iight// his dick almost suffocated muh pussy so tight// my body oh so ccuz ima dime// aie nikka wana 69 ?// i aynt gota ask ima make dhat dick mine// he made my world// got back on did sum reverse cowgirl// im like drugs gitcha high// im bouncin on it while he rubs my thigh// nikkas ccums once we aynt dun// i got hellie more fun to come// yhu can grab and pull my hair // i honestly dont care// just as long as yhu good and gime tha shair// suck on muh tit// play wit muh clit//stick iht in// cum again// funn ? yhup we dun (: yeahh ihonestly i made this wen i was high and i listen to tha song freaky girl and liddle freak
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Re: Liddle Freak (no hoe here)
Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2011 4:10 pm
by FatalX
I am going to honestly feed this...you did have flow,your structure could have been stronger,there really werent any multis and as far as your punches try to word them better.
you did stay on your topic which was good....I think you could do and get alot better then this...also when you write you really want to know how and where to end...keep posting......
Re: Liddle Freak (no hoe here)
Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2011 4:19 pm
by Lil Meika
thanks bruh i apriciat yhu bein honest ! (:
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Re: Liddle Freak (no hoe here)
Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2011 7:15 pm
by NoVeL
I ain't gonna lie, this is as close as it gets to catching a boner on illest. I enjoyed the piece, pretty generic and could had a better scheme but for what it was, keep it up Meika
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Re: Liddle Freak (no hoe here)
Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2011 11:22 am
by Lil Meika
haha thanks (: im makin part 2 widd dha stuff i didnt include
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Re: Liddle Freak (no hoe here)
Posted: Tue Mar 08, 2011 3:17 pm
by Glamtrash
I want you to focus on structure and selling. and I really want you to work on your vocab. Invest in a thesaurus. It'll make your writing a shit ton better. I'd also like it if you'd do a toical on something a little more G-rated lol. Sorry sweety but you're real young yet. Think less Minaj and more Arie. Just for a few years.
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Re: Liddle Freak (no hoe here)
Posted: Tue Mar 08, 2011 3:17 pm
by Glamtrash
Also, why has no one moved this yet ?
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Re: Liddle Freak (no hoe here)
Posted: Fri Mar 11, 2011 3:25 am
by QwarterZ
This was ok........simplistic
yet straight to the point
very detailed for the most point
strong visuals and so on...
would make a catchy song I believe
but not a great lyrical piece
either way good job
