Hip Hop Forum

Listen..


Nightmares glide to life, Like gradients at sunrise,
Eyelids rise again to blurred vision of wrists among ties,
Cracked leather, laced tightly.. Bound him to electric chairs,
Once justice, Now measured fair.. Key's in reach, just metric hairs,
Silhouette's of figures resembling that of human shapes,
Gauging routes of true escape, From this place & room encased,
Stricken over centuries from mold, grime & lack of care,
Nesting of wildlife thrive despite cold, slime, & plaque in air,
Hearing voices of desperation & angst from final mourns,
Sensing a similarity; Rocketing shivers down his spinal cord,
Now riveted by company, Sparking tremors of curiousity,
Decrepid chair pegs clammoring on floor boards with animosity..


Emotions are now rattling; Hear it.
Darker than a soul I take for granted; Heed,
The truth remains covered; Fear it.
Shuttering, I'll wait. Air panted... Breathe..


Arduous tasks without label are now definitive,
His purpose to find purpose; Important as every minute is,
Miniscule details of the scenary which he's blinded within,
Echoes of gasps rain from afar as he's reminded again,
Grappling with vivid images of what his palms can graze against,
Beneath him, Jagged shards of glass, now sand; With grain & vents,
Hands sliced from venturing forth, Creeping closer to epiphanies,
Profanity; Screamed in vein. Face bludgeoned in his miseries,
Descending from a dream, He awaken's to a state of conciousness,
Relieved & Incoherent, Realizing there's pressure upon his wrists,
His eyelids rise again, To blurred visions of wrists among ties..
..When his nightmares glide to life, Like gradients at sunrise.


Emotions are now rattling; Hear it.
Darker than a soul I take for granted; Heed,
The truth remains covered; Fear it.
Shuttering, I'll wait. Air panted... Breathe..



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http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/here- ... ml#p163428

Well first thing I wanna say phenominal job with ya vocab...

Nightmares glide to life, Like gradients at sunrise,
Eyelids rise again to blurred vision of wrists among ties,
^^^^^^^^^ok
Cracked leather, laced tightly.. Bound him to electric chairs,
Once justice, Now measured fair.. Key's in reach, just metric hairs,
^^^^^^^beginning to sound like something from the movies Saw
Silhouette's of figures resembling that of human shapes,
Gauging routes of true escape, From this place & room encased,
********starting to hold some tension to it
Stricken over centuries from mold, grime & lack of care,
Nesting of wildlife thrive despite cold, slime, & plaque in air,
***********************ok
Hearing voices of desperation & angst from final mourns,
Sensing a similarity; Rocketing shivers down his spinal cord,
Now riveted by company, Sparking tremors of curiousity,
Decrepid chair pegs clammoring on floor boards with animosity..


Emotions are now rattling; Hear it.
Darker than a soul I take for granted; Heed,
The truth remains covered; Fear it.
Shuttering, I'll wait. Air panted... Breathe..


Arduous tasks without label are now definitive,
His purpose to find purpose; Important as every minute is,
^^^^^^^^^the second line was nice*butardous made your first a little hard to understand
Miniscule details of the scenary which he's blinded within,
Echoes of gasps rain from afar as he's reminded again,
****strong vocab very descriptive
Grappling with vivid images of what his palms can graze against,
Beneath him, Jagged shards of glass, now sand; With grain & vents,
^^^^^^^brings the question of where this is to mind
Hands sliced from venturing forth, Creeping closer to epiphanies,
Profanity; Screamed in vein. Face bludgeoned in his miseries,
^^^^^yet another question"whats going on here?
Descending from a dream, He awaken's to a state of conciousness,
Relieved & Incoherent, Realizing there's pressure upon his wrists,
^^^^^flowed well
His eyelids rise again, To blurred visions of wrists among ties..
..When his nightmares glide to life, Like gradients at sunrise.
^^^^^^ok line


Emotions are now rattling; Hear it.
Darker than a soul I take for granted; Heed,
The truth remains covered; Fear it.
Shuttering, I'll wait. Air panted... Breathe..
********I like the chorus

dude first off I am going to say that you have a great vocab but all in all something like this is hard to comprehend even for me and I am have been graded in the top 10 percent of literarature of the US....I don't really like this because ya you described alot of stuff but you really didnt say shit....I dont even understand what you where trying to say with this.....you need to simplify because stuff like this shows your intelligence but at the same time leads no where for the reader....I am going to say keep posting but If this is how you write and say "record on a beat"I would only listen to it when tripping on some sort of hallucinagen....I wont feed on any other peice you write if its like this but keep posting

I enjoyed the vocab as well, but also, the only visuals I was getting from it were perhaps the final thoughts of a wrongly condemned killer on death row or something along those lines. It's a pretty cool piece. Stay up, bruh.