Hip Hop Forum

though machine, my chi ebbs in a constant unstoppable flow
there's no hiding it, im a robotic monster from Dr. Gero
I don't eat, don't shed tears, I'm a wretched machine
I don't feel, I don't fear, I'm no sentient being
my brute force and incredible speeds, you never could see
messin with me, I'll blast you with an energy beam
fight back? good luck punching through molded iridium...
like Mythic Dawn "Dagon will welcome your soul in oblivion"
I was built in less than ten years, my perfection is a mystery
you've been evolving for millions, still couldn't achieve my level of affinity
you NEVER could inhibit me, it's an ineffible absurdity
how you could be so inferior to metal and some circuitry
I could drain the oceans mass up by making a pointing motion at it
while you're worried about supposed fads of clothes you have and social status
match wits? you're better off playing hard to get with your skeleton
I guess it's your natural stupidity against my artificial intelligence

unlocked

Pretty cool, yo. I liked the vocab.

have to agree with monumental vocab was killer on this piece aside from that I liked it all there was a line I thought you could have tooken a lil more time and that was the whole drain the ocean line....the picture was there but it didnt hit me the way I would have liked it to

I could drain the oceans mass up by making a pointing motion at it
while you're worried about supposed fads of clothes you have and social status
match wits? you're better off playing hard to get with your skeleton
I guess it's your natural stupidity against my artificial intelligence

In all honesty, i wasn't going to feed this, but the quoted above was fucking sick man. We need more of this writing on the site. Welcome and stay active man.

thanks for the feed fellas, i appreciate the love. and yeah. ill get in the habit of posting all my new text pieces here for critique.

only thing is remember the rules man, gotta feed 2 other pieces before you post yours

i did, but i pm'd em to a mod. the thread was locked, but once he received the message it was unlocked. trust me bro, just look around i been feedin threads