Hip Hop Forum

so get it twisted/sit back relax blaze a blunt and listen/cuz ur no match for my attacks u cant complete this mission/youll fall straight on your back theres so many parts of me youve been missin/all u c is tht i talk out/so walk the fine line and get fuckin struck out/whos on the cover now who song do u turn up loud/make the base cruch man i love tht sound rockin this crowd/so ima stand up proud ive finaly been found/im on my own now its my road now and i dont give a fuck how/many miles i haveta travel/so far away from home still kickin up gravel/u cant follow its forbiden/behinde closed doors my secreats r hidden/but im sliencely sittin watin for whats commin/so im finaly gettin exactly what i wanted/my lifes been thrown up en punted and im not even done yet

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

well JB I have to say I can def tell this is a free verse...it seems to me that the thoughts of this which did flow well together seemed more like a freestyle you know...like you wrote as the words came to you and not so much focused on pushing the envelope....to me I def think you can do alot better-seems like you just felt like knowcking some quick bars out....which is cool I believe that sharpens your writing ability....once more like I said not the best your capable of but and by no means a masterpiece either but it holds its own compared to a great many written rhymes around the world....keep posting