Hip Hop Forum

It's been awhile since I've been on the mic with trying to elevate my writing skills etc. I also took time to practice my breathing control over the new mic I have. Let me know what you guys think.

Lyrics:

Yeah.. ReeD NoVeLs.. Uh, Yeah 2x

Used to paint pictures of life, my vision is like, clear with a hint of sum sprite, delivery nice/

giving me rights, chivalry right? middle me twice, the last one, pop like a cap gun, I'm dad's son/

resenting my caption results in a fraction, lenses get shot.. rotary action/

& I'm captain of the plane, flying out to Maine, looking for a place to settle my future gains/

never thought it'd pour, cuz I never seen it rain, clouds on sunny days only meant a certain wage/

paid in full, I payed my dues, can't pertain to bull, unexplainable

the aim will pull and proclaim a fool, 100 shots, bullets stain ya school so maintain ya cool/

Stated sum lines, date it to time, created a glimpse, sippin' sum wine, here is some cents

now that I'm changing ya mind... Peep (Echoes)

I dont like how it seems you are whispering into the mic. I thought you flowed really well in this and I liked the content of the piece. Not bad at all man, keep at it.

I can see you definately have alot of influence from Blu, in terms of delivery and flow. This is dope no doubt, but what I will say is try and develop your own style. It's cool to have influences from rappers but mimicking their style is a negative.

All in all dope drop, keep spittin

Good stuff man but it did sound a little mimickey if thats a word. Good drop nonetheless.

shits good for what it is a lil time filler...
nah i think you almost got your breathing down (thats one of the hardest things for me too), in the beggining first and second barrs i could hear you breathe, wasnt really concerned. But it was a solid lil piece man, like the smooth approach.. good shi

I actually enjoyed ur flow, very good man, kinda short with the drop and u need to put a de-esser on ur vocals or upgrade mic cuz those s's are harsh but other than that clean man...

Ite, So I Like The Laid Back Vibe The Beat Has Here. Your Vocals Are Both Loud And Soft. Loud, By Way Of Mixing, Soft, By Way Of The Atual Recording. IDK If You Understand That, But IMO, It's Not A Good Mix Lol. Umm, Some Good Multi's Present Throughout The Song. I Can't Say Your Flow Was On Point All The Way Til The End, But It Had It's Moments Where It Was Crisp. Just Really Watch That Quality And Presence K? My Favorite Lines From This Are:

paid in full, I payed my dues, can't pertain to bull, unexplainable

the aim will pull and proclaim a fool, 100 shots, bullets stain ya school so maintain ya cool/

Mainly Cuz The Multi's Ran Smooth. I Enjoyed This Man, And As A Interlude/Filler, Was Pretty Decent.

Thanks fellas. I Mos Def appreciate the feed here. I will work on my presence and flow more thoroughly as well as structure better schemes.

Peep some of my latest work coming soon from "Luxury is King"