Hip Hop Forum

i got this world wit one hand spin and twisted/so sit and listen good job heres a bisket/hands up for the gran fan. get ready to rally/big sally willin to party spit a bottle of Pacardy/im off the subject but i ant done yet/over rated i win this game ive already played it/upstaged it so for no reason but its wasted/sittin back stoned and voned this weed got me owned/i get such a agren. ruch when i hear tht base cruch/it not enough kick it up a nach/twist and spin let the party begin/im just trin to get it over with split the splif rool tht shit chill for a bit or get thrown in a moshpit/they dont call me johnny blaze for nothing/break it down lets get ta puffen this ant some new stuffen/untwin let mothernature free yo mind/hide the funny feeling inside till its so hard to find
line after line i keep givinin it to u fuckin deleaverin it to u/i give it a ten but u give it a two/ill be back in the end to see if u pulled tho/ this is the moment of truth this is what i gotta do
(cant fit the rest hahaha)

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

First of all, it can really be hard to judge your flow with the way you structure your lines. Maybe you could write in a format like this to help the reader find your flow easier. Example-

Something something nothing some/
Nothing nothing something none/

Also, this seemed more like an off the dome type of piece, so theres not really any direction with it. I did like the flow once I found it, and you have some really good use of inner rhyming as well. I'd like to see you do something more on one topic, bro. Keep at it and welcome to Illest. One.

ya dood my friend burned me a cd wit beats on it and i wrote this to 1 of the beats
theres plenty more where tht came from lol

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

-- Sat Feb 12, 2011 7:13 am --

ya dood my friend burned me a cd wit beats on it and i wrote this to 1 of the beats
theres plenty more where tht came from lol